When considering the significance of the pepperoni pizza, one must account for a comprehensive understanding which employs the use of all five senses. Using the senses of sight and touch, and also referring to Kenneth Haltman’s practice of “polarities and oppositions”, the pizza will come out of the oven hot, intending it to be consumed at a warm, temperate level instead of rigid cold, thus suggesting its ability to comfort its consumer, as food often does. The object is often round, although it is sometimes square–and heart-shaped for Valentine’s Day–round seems to be the preferred method of appearance and delivery. A round pizza is more convenient, in that the surface area of the cuisine when sliced is spread out across the surface in a triangular shape; this ensures that the top layer of cheese is less likely to slide off. When dealing with a square slice of pizza, the cheese is more likely to slide because the shape is restricted, and does not extend itself or diminish itself for accessibility.

The object exists as layers of fluffy buttery pizza crust which has been hand-crafted into its designated circumference size. The next layer is a red tomato sauce with several savory spices to add to the aromas it strongly emanates. Next comes a layer of soft and chewy cheese, followed by flavorful pepperoni slices which add a tang but not a bite.

This object is edible and is therefore not a collectible, but a consumable. This warm object, makes one feel pleasant, cheerful, and gracious for such a delectable disk of deliciousness. The disk-shape is safe and comforting–there are no sharp corners to abruptly scourge you or imply a rigidity to this object. Rather, this object invites you take it in–its smells, its sight. Its warmth is soothing, reassuring you that it will make you feel improved. If feeling emotionally heckled or physically frazzled, the pizza is available to encourage golden optimism and desired reassurance.

The object consists of two main pieces of wood, Alder and Maple respectively, which are bolted together horizontally. The wider of the two pieces, the “body”, is mostly coated with a polyester finish, of a light, pastel-blue hue. Conversely, the “neck” of the object is approximately 25.5” and has the shape of the letter “C”. The wood of the rounded back is un-painted; the front is covered with a flat piece of rosewood that has a radius of 9.5”. Scaling down the neck are several small pegs made of ivory, creating a flowing line of dots. Beyond the polyester coating, the back of the guitar remains mostly plain, save for a number of buckle scratches.

At the tip of the neck, there is a nut approximately 1.650”, which is connected to a somewhat larger curved head at the top. On the right side, the word “Fender” can be found in bold yellow type, with “vintage modified jazzmaster” etched in black toward the bottom. On the left side of the neck there are six white pegs, which have ascending gauges of steel strings wrapped around them. The 6 strings extend past the neck of the object, and are connected slightly before the tail end of the guitar by a thin piece of chrome, which is drilled into the wood. The high tension applied on each end of each string cause them to be tightly wound and elevated slightly above the flat base of the neck. The back of the neck contains a unique model number, reading “IC513168752”, as well as a small “made in Indonesia” etched near the top of the neck.

The object’s body has a unique shape, two horns are adjacent to where the neck is connected, there are parallel dips near the middle, and the bottom end is wider and more rounded. At the end of the largest horn and at the bottom of the body, there are identical metal pegs, in a reverse pyramid shape. Much of the bottom half of the front of the body is covered a thin layer with white plastic that contours to the object’s shape. Within the confines of this white plastic space, there are several other various shapes of plastic, as well as a number of metal screws that attach it firmly to the wood. The object has 2 large, white knobs that read “volume” and “tone”, as well as two tiny, moveable black wheels and one black switch towards the top end, near the most prominent horn. Near the second horn, there is another switch, this one extending about half an inch from the body, with a small bulb of white plastic at the top.

Horizontally intersecting the strings along the middle of the body are two 3” white plastic pieces, which are in a soap bar shape and bulge slightly outward. Along these two bars are 6 metallic dots, corresponding with each string. When a string is vibrated, the frequency of this energy is “picked up” by these small electromagnetic dots, and can be transmitted to anything that can amplify said frequencies. This energy is transmitted through complex wiring within the guitar’s body, which are connected to the various switches and knobs as well.

The strings on the object are perched up and held in place by a small chrome saddle. Towards the bottom of the guitar, there is a small hole around ¼ of an inch in circumference. At the bottom of the neck, there is a thin, metallic “arm” that in inserted into a small hole near the tailpiece and the saddle. Much like an actual joint, when pressure is applied, the saddle bends slightly as well. The oscillations in tension allow the strings to make a smeared kind of noise, which coincides of the bending of the tremolo “arm”.

The object can also be read as a physical embodiment of characteristics humans are attracted to or are universally connected with. The object’s specifications contain several references to human anatomy, including “body”, “head”, “neck”, and “arms”. Its curvy, contoured shape, comparably similar to that of a buxom woman, influences the desirability factor of this object. Likewise the polyester finish makes the object look similar to candy. On the neck of the object, several slivers of metal are melded into the wood. When scanning from the top to the bottom of the neck, it’s clear to see that these 21 frets are inching closer with each note. The pattern of converging frets is comparable to that of a classic diagram of the electromagnetic spectrum. As the pitch increases, the energy of the vibrations becomes faster as well.

The present object, at its face, has a triangular shaped side, measured at 7.6 inches tall. At the height of this measurement, the object is sectioned off by a perfectly leveled horizontal line to form a pyramid shaped portion at .3 inches tall. At the objects peak, it stands at 7.9 inches tall.

The object has 4 sides of uniform dimensions. When looking at the bottom of the object, when it is turned with it’s apex, at the pyramid shape, pointing downward, we see that the base is square shaped. Each side of the square, at the bottom of the object, measures at 4.5 inches. The slope of the triangle is roughly 101 degrees from base to apex. Its weight is measured at 330g.

The first component seen on this object is the indentation at what we can presume is the objects front. From 3.4 inches to 7.4 inches is where this indentation occurs, measured at roughly .3 inches deep into the object’s front. This indentation has a black triangular shaped finish on what appears to be treated plastic. On either side of the triangle there are groves following, perfectly, the original triangle shape of the object.

Directly down the center of this area is a metal piece. It is thin, with several grooves in it, measured perfectly starting at the bottom and occurring more rapidly as we scan its features to its top. This piece is not attached to this area, rather, if we follow is origination, and maneuver the whole object so that the apex of the triangle is pointing at us, we see a rectangular shaped hole where the object’s point of origination extends from. The rectangular hole measures about a third of the indentation in the whole object, and extends about half of the indented area’s base, centered, at 3.4 inches on the slope from the base of the object.

On the metal piece is a pitchfork shaped device with three prongs. The outer prongs of this device hug the metal piece and are thicker than the center prong, which is positioned directly on top of the metal piece. They seem to latch on to the grooves of the metal piece and the device can be moved to the desired position. The metal piece, at its very top, is housed within a ridge of the indented section. When the metal piece is removed from this housing it snaps forward from the front of the object and swings from side to side.

The final piece of the indented portion of the object is located directly underneath the metal piece. It is an additional indentation with a gray color. It extends the same height as the metal piece but is markedly wider. There are underlined numbers printed on this piece. The underlines correlate in position with the groves of the metal piece — so that the top number, 40, is underlined very close to where the first groove of the metal piece begins, when housed in the ridge, and the next number from the top, 42, correlates with the next groove of the metal piece.

Each concurrent number appears on the opposite side of the metal piece, on the final indentation, and lowered so that 40 is higher than 42, and on the left side (from our perspective) of the metal piece, while 42 is higher than 44, and on the right side of the metal piece (40 and 44 are both on the left side of the metal piece).

At the bottom of the final indentation appears to be a pitchfork shaped figure enclosed in a black diamond. Underneath the diamond is the word “Wittner,” presumably the objects maker.

The object, excluding the indentation mentioned previously, appears to be made of a mahogany finish. It has several black striations from bottom to top and resembles a wood finish. The finish reveals itself to be a hard plastic when touched and inspected further. On the the object’s left side, if we presume the indented area is the front, there is a metal knob that clicks on hinges in the interior of the object, in an area that, to be inspected, would require dismantling the entire object to view. This knob, presumably, winds up the metal piece in the indentation, and when it is wound, the metal piece swings at different rates, depending on the position of the pitchfork shaped device on the ridges on the metal piece.

The higher the pitchfork shaped device is, the slower it swings — so that 208, the number lowest on the final indentation, swings the metal piece faster than 40, the number highest on the final indentation. Whenever the metal piece crosses the center, where it is housed, it makes a clicking noise. These clicks can be timed, when maneuvering the pitchfork device, to match up with the second hand of a clock — or faster and slower.

The final piece we will inspect is the “Wittner” inscription on the final indention, underneath the diamond shape. A quick internet search yields some results, Wittner is a german manufacturing company that specifies in various musical auxiliary equipment. Our object turns out to be a Wittner made metronome Model No. 812 K, plastic coating.

An object appears as a soft rectangular solid of black, silver, and grey- cast in aluminum, glass, and hard plastic.  The body of the object is covered in a shell of light blue rubber and hard, medium-blue plastic.  The plastic shell bears the inscription “Otter Box.”

The object measures 2.31 inches wide.  The object weighs 4.9 ounces.  Its depth measures 0.37 inches, and its height spans 4.5 inches.

On the front of the object appears a slightly recessed circle, with a white square inscribed in the center, measuring no more than a half-centimeter or so on each side.  There is a rectangular shaped recession near the top of the façade, with grey mesh at its base.  Adjacent to the grey mesh, appears a tiny circular lens.  On the verso side of the object (the vertical verso), there are two buttons, labeled “+” and “-“, and a switch which can be shifted upward or downward.  When shifted downward, the switch reveals an orange rectangle of color above it. The right/recto vertical side of the object remains flush, featuring no modifying switches or buttons.  The bottom vertical side features two small grey mesh ovals, two tiny screws, and an opening shaped like a rectangle, which appears to be an electronic female plug.  The top vertical side features one oval shaped button and one circular opening which also appears to be a female electrical port of some variety.

Removing the plastic and rubber coverings and directing attention to the back of the object, one discovers what appears to be a tiny camera embedded into the top left corner with an accompanying flash, an image of a silver apple with a bite missing, and the following inscription on the back of the object: “iPhone…Designed by Apple in California…Assembled in China…Model A1387…EMC 2430…FCC ID: BCG-E2430A… IC:579C-E2430A.  Below the inscription are inscribed a series of symbols: the first appears to be FCC, with the C’s etched concentrically. The next symbol is a trashcan that’s been drawn through with an “X,” followed by a type of “C,” a type of “E,” 0682, and two concentric circles containing the symbol “!”

Engaging with the object yields the discovery that this rectangular solid is in fact an interactive electronic device, likely to be used for communication, given the inscription on the rear, “iPhone.”  Pressing the oval button on the top vertical side activates the front black-mirrored glass to reveal the date and time, a directive at the bottom, “slide to unlock,” two small digital oval buttons at center top and center bottom, and a camera icon in the bottom-right corner of the space.  The device is operated by touching the fingers upon the face to manipulate the device.  Sliding down the top oval digital button reveals a brief weather report and the date: “Saturday November 8^th… Partly cloudy currently.  The high will be 61 degrees.  Partly cloudy tonight with a low of 43 degrees… Calendar.”  Sliding up the bottom oval digital button reveals a menu of buttons: an airplane, a WiFi symbol, a Bluetooth symbol, a moon symbol, and a symbol with a lock circumscribed by a curved arrow.  Below these buttons is a sliding scale brightness control, with a sun emitting small rays on the left side and a sun emitting larger rays to its right.  Below that bar lies a sliding scale controlling volume: a spectrum bookended by a speaker symbol on the left, and a speaker symbol on the right, emitting sound waves.  At the bottom of the screen, 4 more buttons appear, revealing the tools they represent: a flashlight, a clock, a calculator, and a clock.

At the top of the screen, a status bar sits, indicating the level of connectivity, the service provider’s name, Virgin, and the type of service connected, 3G.  To the right of this information, a tiny alarm clock, a faded Bluetooth symbol, the figure 75%, and a battery-shaped icon (the battery being ¾ full) are lined up.

With the face of the iPhone unlocked, the screen features several squares that, when pressed, reveal applications which the device can operate: contacts, notes, weather, Wells Fargo, calculator, maps, podcasts, Spotify, music, clock, settings, and Safari.  At the bottom of the screen, a secondary row of applications is anchored at the base: phone, messages, calendar, and Gmail.  Two circles, one white and one grey, appear above the bottom row. Swiping the finger to the right on the first screen reveals a second screen with similar applications to the first screen.

Having completed a basic description, we find that the object of study is a highly portable and ergonomic tiny computer and a phone, capable of functioning in a multitude of fashions.  A brief search into the objects history yielded that it debuted in the marketplace on October 4, 2011, dating the object to being no more than 3 years old.

I have a habit of fetishizing paper goods and writing utensils, hoarding books, and keeping a messy office.  I’m given to obsession, and guitars have been a big part of that.  I used to spend hours pouring over magazines and catalogues, wandering through guitar stores, and taking trips to other towns that had different guitar stores.

Guitars have talismanic aesthetics– the iconography of rock n’ roll, the “cover of Rolling Stone,” is almost catholic in its beauty.  They are tools, art objects, and symbols of sexual power.

For the majority of my life, for the last 17 or so years, I’ve pursued guitar.  I’ve owned several different guitars over the years.  I’ve made a practice of pairing down the quantity of things I hold onto, and I’ve made a ritual of gifting the occasional guitar to a friend.

The act of giving things away has become a big part of my consumption cycle.  When my wife and I moved from Tucker to Poncey-Highlands, we took 3 or 4 carloads of things and donated them.  We did the same thing when we moved out of that apartment– I try to give away as much as I collect.  I’ve given away or donated 6 guitars.  Now, I own 2 guitars and a banjo.  Two were gifts to me, and one I purchased using layaway.  I really appreciated the item I had to buy using layaway– this happened during a financially weak period of my life; it took me three months to save the $350 to buy it.  The guitar is a Seagull acoustic, made in Canada.  There’s nothing really special about the item, but I would never sell it.

I agree with Alex’s post that categorizes objects as culturally positive, enhancing memory and providing a grounding effect to the individual.  Much of my writing this semester has explored the alienation of the self that comes through possession.  My personal relationship with this object reminds me of a time in my own life when I made sacrifices to obtain something that I felt was a worthwhile endeavor– much of the day-to-day consumption in my life has little connection to that very mindful act of buying a guitar.  Do I care if I spend too much money on coffee? These little daily acts of consumption serve a foil contrasting against the awareness of mindful collecting.

Lately, I read articles on minimalism.  I don’t want my objects to own me.  I want my extended self to find utility and not alienation.  My patterns of consuming are evolving.  This semester has been a challenge point in my personal growth, and I’ve begun questioning consumption on a greater scale.  There are certainly risks and rewards to consumption.  Having the necessary tools and goods for survival in a modern world is an essential of life.  Having every wanton desire fulfilled is not essential.  In fact, having every desire fulfilled is potentially dangerous.

A study of lottery winners observed that winning the lottery and magically being financially unencumbered didn’t make people any happier.  Cultivating contentment yields better results than chasing gratification– this is my motto towards consumption today.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

My alarm sounds at 6am and after sleepily hitting the snooze button a few times, I crawl out of bed at approximately 6:30am. Since I was out yesterday due to the invading germs elementary students habitually spread, I mentally prepare for the abnormally long day ahead as I drowsily ready for work. Without warning, my morning grouch of a husband begins to nit-pick about the neglected laundry. The sun isn’t even awake but we plunge into a recurring war of roaring finger pointing and grimacing insults. Esh. What a glorious way to start the day. I am but an object to satisfy the demands of wife, mother, teacher, student, and non-profit founder & director.

7:15am. I arrive at school (work). Students flood my classroom. They peer at me, waiting as I rummage through my mind’s library of lessons. What am I doing? This teaching thing is challenging. They wait for an “order” just as soldiers do. Public school is run in similar fashion like that of military boot camp whereby teachers are the drill sergeants and students are drilled of their obligatory role to perform according to a universal standard. They are objects of our education system and I’m a contributor. For 45 minutes, five days a week, they are my objects to control and manipulate. This teaching thing is complicated and complex. I have no idea what I’m doing. I am also an object of the system, required to perform to certain standards.

11:05am. It is now time for my lengthy 20 minute lunch. I scarf down some crackers while I read and respond to emails. A 5^th grade teacher wants me to incorporate a project into my class time. A pediatric cancer mother is requesting financial assistance. I make a mental note to go by the post office tomorrow after work to send her gift cards for food and gas. I reach for my phone to call a local Olive Garden so I can fulfill our monthly promise of delivering a hot lunch to the families who are inpatient at Egleston and Scottish Rite. But I am distracted by a text from my ex-husband notifying me that one of our foundation’s kiddos have passed. I cannot cry. I do not have time to cry. Besides, objects don’t cry.

Finally 2:20pm! The bell rings to signal the end of the school day. As I am leaving, I am bombarded by a flux of students. Am I ever going to remember the name of every single student? A precious 1^st grader asks me to come to his house to fix his computer. An excited 3^rd grader begs me to take a look at her assignment on Google Drive. Another student tells me what he is dressing up as for Halloween. Some just want to give me a hug and I gladly accept. But I wonder why in the world do they want to hug me? I am not worthy to receive these hugs. No sense in arguing…this makes every teacher-thing I do worthwhile. This teaching thing is rewarding

On my way to school, I call my husband. We have a cordial conversation and he indirectly apologizes but never actually mutters the words, “I’m sorry.” But then again, neither do I. All in all, though, everything seems patched up from this morning’s crossfires.

3:58pm. That’s a first…I am actually on time for once. Hooray for the small accomplishments! The victory is short-lived when I learned I overlooked and failed to complete two written assignments that were due last week. I feel a migraine approaching. This college thing is stressful and time-consuming. I realize that I am also an object of the education system…

7:20pm. Thankful to the medicine that extinguished my migraine, I have the bright idea to attempt at completing the homework assignment that was just given in my Statistics & Probability class. I get as far as writing the first question when I look up to find Greek splattered all over the board. Great. Evidently I have an abundant amount of time to teach myself.

9:30pm. I am finally home. To my surprise, my 21-month-old daughter is still awake. I kneel as she giddily runs to me. She knocks me over when she gives me a bear hug and a long kiss. My heart is filled and my day is made perfect. She is my object of affection and adoration. I am her object for survival and she is mine. I love it.

9:45pm. While giving her a bath, I enjoy the musical squeals of my daughter’s laughter. But, I overhear an argument in the kitchen between my husband and his mother. It’s about something I did…or didn’t do. I try to recall what I did in the brief time I have been home but my mental checklist only indicates that I must have breathed her air. I am an object that breathes.

Quarter after 10pm. My daughter is down for the night. I remind my husband about my scheduled GACE exam tomorrow. He’s irritated now. He asks, “How did you pay for it?” With sarcasm I reply, “With money.” But I desire nothing but to end this on & off again argument and attempt at adding humor to lighten the mood, “I offered a trade…one test for the annoying cats outside. But they just wanted my arm and leg. The audacity. And apparently bartering sex is frowned upon…even illegal. Can you believe that?” Humor failure. Well that is my cue to do one of my ‘object’ duties: laundry.

11:45pm. Craving to conclude the day, I climb into bed. I cannot sleep.

It’s a quarter past 1am. I’m about to loose it! I might as well get up and try to finish one of my forgotten written assignments. I take a look at the requirements for the reflection…nope, that is too complicated for my mind to process right now. I will instead do my timeline summary.

1:42am. I climb back in bed. I still cannot sleep. This is ridiculous!

2:15am. OMG! It is going to be another long day tomorrow. How do I even function by doing this shit? Yes, I have resorted to cursing. The accumulations of the day’s irritations have taken its toll.

3:00am. Who needs sleep??? Objects don’t sleep.

3:30am. My migraine has returned. I should have taken Benadryl but it is too late now. Arg!!!

My alarm sounds at 6am…I must have finally drifted off. A little over 2 hours of sleep. Awesome.