Course Name: INTRO TO LITERARY STUDIES
Course Number: ENGL 3105
Instructor: Richardson, Leeanne M.
Semester: Fall 2021
Introduction to True Intimacy: Female Friendships a Guide to Feminine Divinity
Writing “True Intimacy” became one of my favorite pieces I have written during my college career. The assignment guidelines asked students to explore a literary theme or device from a rhetorical perspective to examine hidden meaning. The topic allowed me to explore female friendship as they are written in fiction books and their subtle importance over the romantic leads of the novel. My research paper implores readers to think critical about the nuances of writing that many writers include in their work to further a subplot that is often overlooked. Iconic writer Jane Austen novels are weaved with the platonic romance of female friendships; while writing this piece I hoped open the conversation on how these relationships are viewed in society. As mentioned this is one of my favorite works; given the more time I would love to explore how novels perception of female friendships has directly influenced individuals from a psychological perspective.
True Intimacy: Female Friendships a Guide to Feminine Divinity and self-discovery
“Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.” Taken from the novel “Northanger Abbey”, by Jane Austen, it reveals the powerful influence that friendship resides within our lives. Pairing this with the thematic novel “Pride and Prejudice” it acts as somewhat of an antithesis of the plot from a sub-level point. Upon further inspection it becomes clear that the characters within the novel reflect what transpires when one does not experience true friendship. As we contrast antiquated ideas of women and friendships, we can further understand the experiences of the female characters conflict with societal constructions during a period where a woman’s life goal was love and intimacy.
Based on the events surrounding the freedom of choice as it relates to emotional intimacy or therefore lack of within “Pride and Prejudice”. I will explore unique dynamics surrounding female friendships from a feminist, as well as literary perspective, in hopes of further understanding Jane Austen’s stance on friendship. Additionally, I will examine how the basis of female friendships are seen as a childhood phase that women are expected to outgrow for the basis of marriage. Furthermore, examine the negative impact these choices have on the female characters, as well as how their response to emotional intimacy with women outside this experience is shown through the eyes of older female characters.
Romanticism novels during the 19th century such as “Pride and Prejudice” explore the confined experience of women as they relate to one another under the weight of societal practices, misogyny, and the inevitable influence of marriage. In the 1996, Professor Julie Shaffer published the academic essay “NON-CANONICAL WOMEN’S NOVELS OF THE ROMANTIC ERA”, discussing the reward and punishment system that revolves around femininity corresponding to self-identity and female friendships. The exploratory essay constructs a sound argument encompassing the constitution of marriage as it often coincides with loss of self for the success of others; as well as how this translates to women’s interpersonal skills with each other as a direct influence. Shaffer further states, “Femininity rewardable with a happy marriage is chaste; self-effacing rather than attention-seeking; and tractable to the desires of others (parents and later husbands)”. If we refer to the opening quote and ideology from Jane Austen it solidifies this ideology. When a woman lacks the solidarity and emotional connection that friendships often provide, we begin to see the splitting of selves. Despite the difference in time periods the female characters of Pride and Prejudice understood the social structures regarding marriage. However, not the emotional consequences to female friendships, as this enacts the loss of friendship and the quite emotional torture it provides. Throughout the dissertation Shaffer holds the sentiment surrounding the feminine need for friendship; as well Austen’s satirical critique providing an intimate outlook on women and their struggles with friendship, love, and self-identity outside of their romantic partners.
The complexity of female friendships continues to be a turbulent though small plot point of novels for the Romantic Period. Jane Austen’s characterization of female friendships under the scope of the 19th century remains cleverly introspective; weaving satirical rhetoric throughout the novel. Austen continues to critique the minimal choices the female characters’ often have during this era. Which resulted in many women choosing partners as a means of survival; subsequently setting in motion the frequent emotional and physical submission these marriages often required leading to a scarcity of female friends.
Though one might consider the plot of Pride and Prejudice to be largely romantic in nature, upon further inspection it becomes evident that Austen subtly diverted the plot to that of an intimate portrayal of women and their relations to one another. This is expanded further through the eyes of women such as Mrs. Bennet, Elizabeth Bennet, and Charlotte Lucas. Austen exemplifies and critiques these friendships under the guise of the social practices of the time; as well as from a feminist perspective regarding the emotional significance sisterhood had among these women.
The novel starts with the arrival of Charles Bingley and the excited Mrs. Bennet regarding a wealthy suitor arriving. The opening sentence of the novel establishes the common sentiment of the period regarding men of a bachelor status. Mrs. Bennet enthralled with glee recites the famous quote, “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife”. If we dissect this ideology in relation to the objectivity of singleness based on gender it becomes understood that Mrs. Bennet views the bachelor status of a dignified man as good fortune, while constantly critiquing her 5 five unmarried daughters and Charlotte for their lack of partnership throughout the novel. Despite these varying differences, Mrs. Bennett’s obsession with her daughters getting married is fairly based in logic and practical thinking. For the female characters and women of the 19th century the cruel reality remained that women’s safety and comfort routinely lied in the hands of their husbands. Unmarried women during this time lacked any social or political power resulting in marriages of convenience and financial stability. Due to this being a common social practice Mrs. Bennet’s mania regarding her daughters marrying wealthy suitors is based in motherly love and the desire for them to have security, a reality few were afforded.
Despite the insightfulness surrounding Mrs. Bennett’s rationale, it is often overshadowed by her competitiveness and general cruelty for the women in her life. This is shown during a conversation with Mrs. Long where she refers to Charlotte as “well beyond the age of courtship”, at the age of 27. Mrs. Bennet’s competitiveness not only soils any closeness with women outside of her family but within. She constantly diminishes the importance of the Bennet sisters’ bond within each other and views their reliance on their sisterhood as an impermanent structure that continuously holds them from marriage. Later using Bennet sister’s affection for each other and her own motherly love as a means of competition for Charles Bingley’s and the metaphorical comfortable life he could provide. The driving passion associated with her daughters marrying wealthy suitors, the weight of courtship, and marriage soon drives an irreversible wedge between several of the female characters.
Jane Austen expands on this concept as the novel continues with Mrs. Bennet being depicted as an odd, frivolous woman who takes pleasure in the misery of women outside and within her circle; going as far as to ridicule and shame them. This relational female aggression in friendships is shown through the competition as mentioned before. Mrs. Bennet frequently competes among her “friends” via her daughters and their beauty. Early within the story novel among others she exclaims, “The Lucas’s are a very good sort of girls, I assure you. It is a pity they are not handsome! . . . [Charlotte Lucas] is very plain. Lady Lucas herself has often said so, and envied me and Jane’s beauty” (Austen 81). Though friends throughout the novel, Mrs. Bennet goes exceeding miles to brag about her own daughters while simultaneously degrading Mrs. Lucas’ daughter Charlotte. The constant competition that Mrs. Bennet views women as refers to her fear of women and intimate friendships among them. Though the focal point of the essay is female relationships, it’s important that to analyze the romantic endeavors of our characters to further understand them. Literary writer Nancy Chodorow conceptualizes this theory with her own academic writing, “Gender as a Personal and Cultural Construction”, stating “The conventions of nineteenth-century fiction tended to fit the portrayal of female friendship into the narrative progression toward the marriage of the heroine(s), limiting the potential scope and depth of the female relationship”. This concept takes center stage during the analysis of Mrs. Bennett’s own union ship; as previously stated marriages were often viewed as a means of financial/social stability and less a matter of the heart. As the characters experience this shift in mentality it refocuses feminine attention from that of their perceived “girlish” friendships during their youth and young adulthood. Furthering the narrative to centralize men as their focal point to ensure their survival under the patriarchy; ultimately leading to the demise of their friendships as safe havens.
Under the influence of marriage oftentimes women are left with their partners being their only source of friendship and emotional intimacy. With regards to the character Mrs. Bennet it’s commonly understood that she loathes her marriage to Mr. Bennet. A man who is habitually cruel and unaffectionate of her. Even Elizabeth, a stated favorite of her father, is hesitant to side with him to an extreme extent. Elizabeth reminisces about her parents’ marriage as evidence of her own marital views, referring to their union ship as something that, “could not have formed a very pleasing opinion of conjugal felicity or domestic comfort”. The family’s turbulent marriage remains the hardening factor as to why Mrs. Bennet’s foolishness and erraticism becomes her focal point. The foundation of their marriage being based upon economic and social principles provided Ms. Bennett much like several other female characters within the novel on unequal footing with their partner. This ultimately led to the emergence of resentment for all forms of intimate relationships. Though this bitterness is far less directed towards Mr. Bennet, but a mistrust of female friendships. However, I propose Mrs. Bennett’s deep-seated resentment is rooted in her own guilt at the friendships she ultimately left in ruins under the patriarchal oppression of her own marriage. Whether my theory is correct it remains undoubtedly clear she harbors a deep distrust of women and uses these complex feelings to fuel the competition she engages in with other female characters.
Jane Austen’s cognizance towards female friendships and how they remain a prevalent figure in women lives regardless of some characters lack of them is shown through the characters of the older generation such as Mrs. Bennet, Mrs. Lucas, and Mrs. Long. By referring to their relationships early on, it creates a striking contrast about Elizabeth’s and Charlotte’s profound friendship. During a period where women were viewed as a competition for marriage, notability, and hierarchy; Elizabeth’s friendship with Charlotte remained one of equal footing and mutual respect. Charlotte is even referred to as, “Elizabeth’s intimate friend”. Despite their deep connection towards each other both women yield divergent societal outlooks towards love and marriage. Ultimately these differences led to the demise of their friendship during the midway point of the novel. It’s Charlotte’s decision to marry Mr. Collins that devastates Elizabeth who views their marriage as morally reprehensible based on the notion it was solely configured for economic principles. This remains a conflicting moral indiscretion that Elizabeth is unable to overlook or concede. The conceptualization of this theory is developed by literary scholar Elizabeth Abel throughout her academic paper “(E)Merging Identities: The Dynamics of Female Friendship in Contemporary Fiction by
Women”, she concludes that female friendships are based on a mirroring effect of similar principles and understandings. While both women may not always carry harmonious corresponding practices their fundamental principles should align in order to avoid truly unsettling trouble within the friendship. Abel further states, “Through the intimacy, which is knowledge, friendship becomes a vehicle of self-definition for women, clarifying identity through relation to another who embodies and reflects an essential aspect of the self”. Charlotte’s lack of rose-colored idealism for marriage and relationships with men furthers the imbalance their relationship holds. What initially caused their relationship to fracture is not what holds importance, but every action after the departure from friendship that signifies women’s need for each other even during the death of intimacy.
Charlotte and Elizabeth’s fractured friendship exemplifies the urgency for intimate relationships with women as we see her turn to her sister Lydia after losing her closest female friend. Elizabeth’s choice in pulling towards her sisters after the destruction of her friendship ties into Tess Cosslett theory behind female relationships. Cosslett’s describes the feminine experience of women seeking the safety of other women during their girlhood and into adulthood as, “Young girls have sisters or seek bosom companions, wives befriend those more unfortunate than themselves or find comfort from neighbors, mothers and daughters both support and challenge each other’s roles”. This dynamic explains the complexity of friendship as something that most women seek in efforts to discover themselves; while the influence ultimately lacks the ability to change the roles women, their friends often do.
“Pride and Prejudice” ultimately ends with each female character’s friendships and adoration fading or distant beyond repair, with no true happiness outside of their romantic partners. This novel takes the complexities of female relationships from a critical point of view that critiques and admires the principles for how women become who they are within them. Though perhaps Austen’s attempt to gloss over their damaged infrastructure of friendships is a commentary on how female companionship is frequently understood as a passing phase that ultimately will end once challenged by the concept of marriage.