Defining a Place

long hallToday a small group of us went to Trinity College to see the Book of Kells and the Long Room.  I was particularly struck by the latter, especially when considering place.  When preparing for the trip, I often saw pictures of the Long Room.  It is so iconic, in fact, that it is on the cover of my Dublin guidebook.  In the photos, the hall is empty.  It looks like what it is (or what I thought it was) – a library.  One can imagine oneself studying dutifully amid the stacks of antique books.  As an avid reader and amateur book collector, libraries to me are a sacred place.  I usually enter a library, especially like the one at Trinity, with the same reverence that I would a cathedral.

But contrary to, or possibly because of, the popular photos of the Long Room, what we entered today was little more than a tourist attraction.  The room was filled with people.  And although most spoke in the semi-whisper heard in libraries everywhere, it definitely did not have the sense of awe or gravitas that I was expecting.  What’s additionally interesting is that the behavior and energies of other people affected how I interacted with the place.  I fell right in with everyone else: snapping pictures, pointing at funny things or making jokes, and in general bringing brevity to the situation.

I could be mad about the way people, including myself, were behaving.  And I think that it comes down to how we define a place and how that definition should affect our behavior.  If the Long Room is above all a library, then it should be treated as such.  Or, if it is a “top sight of Dublin,” then it carries a very different kind of reputation.  What was strange was that it kind of had both.  People, myself included, treated it more as a tourist site, but we still whispered while walking through.  So I am left considering how much the title of a place affects the reputation of it, which is then perpetuated by the behavior of the individuals in that place.

A (Foggy) Meditation on Travel

IMG_1741I am lucky enough to have had a lot of opportunities to travel, and it has caused me to often think about the nature of “the traveler.”  Our discussions on place have brought this idea back to me once again.  I don’t have any good answers, so if that is what you are looking for, you have come to the wrong place (place!).  I thought, though, that I would take this opportunity to voice and perhaps unpack a little some of the pervading questions I have about travel.

I want to start by saying that I love traveling.  I deeply appreciate the opportunity it affords individuals to learn about other people-groups and cultures and to see oneself as part of a much larger whole.  However, I also often feel guilty about travel.  I think it is impossible to visit a new place without engaging in colonization in some small way. Obviously, I don’t feel guilty enough about this to stop exploring, but I do try to be mindful of it as much as possible.  I know that I have a tendency to want to project my own knowledge and understanding onto the culture that I am seeing around me, and I have a feeling that others do the same.

One thing I often catch myself doing is accentuating or exaggerating the similarities.  I take my own, American worldview and project it onto a new place.  “Everywhere has a McDonald’s, which means we are all the same!”  I think what I am really trying to do is find a common ground or a point of similarity, but what I end up doing often is ignoring the unique aspects of a place or culture by trying to force it to fit into what I already understand.  I end up “colonizing” a place by denying its complex history and the relationship it has to its inhabitants.

Or I swing too far in the other direction and idealize a place for being so different.  Yesterday as we walked, I saw into a row of back yards and saw laundry hanging from a line.  At the moment it felt very idyllic; a picture of a simpler life.  But I realized that I am romanticizing someone else’s real life.  Their laundry isn’t on display so that I can think, “Oh how quaint! How picturesque!”  Their laundry is on the line because after a long day of work, they had to come home and do laundry (I recognize that this too is a projection, that I am still attempting to write the laundry owner’s narrative).  So while addressing the fact that everything is not exactly as I already know it, I try to perform the balancing act of not “otherizing” everything by making it either idyllic or mysterious.

Finally, I colonize through my attitude towards other tourists.  I want an authentic experience.  Which, I think, is actually impossible for me to have because I am inherently inauthentic as a visitor.  But I desire to see “real life,” which means that there can’t be any other tourists around.  “Go away, Americans! This is my ‘real Irish pub’ and you are ruining it!”  In my attempts at a unique or authentic experience, I end up laying claim to a place that I have absolutely no claim to.  I am the American tourist.  I am the person I glare at when she or he enters my “secret” spot (usually that I found in a guide book).  So while I often think that tourists are grossly tourist-y and that I want to get off the beaten path, I try to remember that I am an outsider, a visitor, too.  While I may want to go off the beaten path, the people who actually live and work on that path may not want be stomping through it.

So, yeah.  Make of that what you will.  I don’t think there’s a right answer.  Travel is important. And getting off the beaten path sometimes is important too.  But it’s also crucial that I remember that real people with real lives inhabit the places that I visit.  The picture above shows just one small bit of a complex and beautiful landscape, and I try to remember that, even when it’s not foggy, as a visitor this is all I will ever see or understand of a place that I am visiting only temporarily.

Crossing the Line

Ocoee Street After reading Creswell’s chapter, I realize that this is more of a space than a place.  My hope was to get a picture from the middle of the road, but the noon traffic made that an impossibility.  Ocoee Street is a space of movement that defies pausing.  Instead, it is a boundary between two very important places in my life.  It is the movement across this line that lends the road significance.  In the foreground of the photo is a sign for Centenary Ave.  This is my childhood street, the neighborhood I grew up in.  In the background, across the border, is Lee University, where my parents have both worked for over 40 years and where I went to college.  Ocoee Street is the demarcation line between these two places and carries layers of significance for me, my family, and my community.

As a kid, Ocoee Street was literally the boundary line.  I had a lot of freedom and was often allowed to roam with my friends.  But there was one rule: do not cross Ocoee Street.  Of course, as I grew older, I was allowed to cross, but by then it had, for me, come to be a symbol of adulthood.  My freshman year of college, I was determined to move onto campus.  Yes, the dorm I moved to was about three blocks from my parents’ house, but the move across Ocoee Street personally marked my transition into independence and maturity.

For my family, this road also delineates the private from the public.  Centenary Ave. is “home”, while Lee is “work.”  Most people have to drive between work and home; the boundary line between the two is broad and may contain a variety of other significant places.  For my parents, this road is the commute.  It is a distinct line between the public and the private.  I also suspect that this is part of why I was not allowed to cross the road as a child.  I belonged in the private sphere of my parents’ lives and could not just show up at their offices any time I wanted.

Finally, this is a boundary line for my community.  Although Lee University plays a large part in our city’s economy, there is a great deal of tension between Lee and the rest of the town.  You may notice that the top of the street sign in the photo marks Centenary Avenue as part of the Historic District.  As Lee grew, the community became increasingly concerned about demarcating where the university could and could not expand.  The creation of the Historic District was one of many attempts to keep the school at bay.  In this way, the boundary line has caused complications for myself and my family.  As members of the Lee community and the Historic Neighborhood Association, my parents have had to work hard to walk the tight-rope of line between the two places and their separate interests.  When I was in college, people around town would often ask me if I went to Lee.  It seems like an innocent question, but I understood the underlying tensions implicit in their asking.  I would often reply, “Yes, but I’m also from here.”  Sometimes, that answer sufficed.  “I am one of you,” it said.  Sometimes, though, it was returned with a scowl.  To some, it meant “I am a traitor.”

Although Lee continues to expand, it has never crossed Ocoee Street.  It is a complicated victory,though, as the expansion tends then to raze the lower income neighborhoods north of campus instead.  Navigating these various tensions and understanding the meanings of the places that I inhabit and how to modify my behavior crossing over boundary lines has been an intrinsic part of my upbringing.  It also gives meaning to this between space, even it one can’t stop and appreciate it.

A Change of (S)pace

parking spaceI hate change.  I am terrified of it.  Last fall I began my third year at Georgia State, and I was facing some major changes.  I was finishing my course work and looking fearfully towards a future of comprehensive exams and dissertation writing.  The classroom is my safe space, and leaving that space gave me a lot of anxiety.  While I was struggling to contend with this inevitable progression, a different change hit me out of nowhere.

Technically, I suppose, I was the one that came out of nowhere.  I was driving on the interstate in the rain when my car hit a slick spot.  I lost control, spun across the median, and continued into oncoming traffic.  My car was struck twice, once by another sedan and then by a moving truck.  At the hospital, the doctors said that I had broken my back in two places in addition to fracturing my sacrum, and I had to get stitches in my leg where a piece of the passenger side door had lodged itself in my calf.  I spent three days in the hospital under observation until I was able to go home, luckily without having to undergo surgery.

As one might imagine, this event had a major impact on my life.  My previous anxiety turned into a full-blown life crisis.  What was I doing? How could I go back to school?  What meaning do I gain in life from study for comps and writing a dissertation?  How am I making a difference in the world?  More than anything, what ultimately kept me connected to GSU was my students.  I know that my future is in the classroom.  I couldn’t abandon my freshmen, and I couldn’t abandon a future in teaching by running scared from the next steps I had to take.

Which brings me, finally, to the picture.  After a month of rest and rehabilitation, I was able to return to school.  The first thing I had to do when coming back was to get a handicapped parking place.  My most meaningful place on campus is this parking place.  It is, of course, a symbol of the accident and what I went through.  But to me, it also represents a recommitment to my future and my scholarly work.

Change found me once more, but this time, I learned to embrace it.  I found positive change these past months through healing.  This parking space in now empty because I don’t need it anymore.  In March I completed a 5k race, and I am now training for a sprint triathlon.  I have learned that change is something to embrace instead of fear, even when it seems scary.