For the past few days, what feels like weeks, I’ve been avoiding people. And it’s not because they have done something to me as to where I cannot stand to be in the site or presence of them, it’s because I just do not want to be around them.
I’m an introvert, but this post is more about me being an introvert.
Going to an exposed and open campus like Georgia State University is great because everything I need is practically right outside my dorm, the classroom halls, right down the street, and a couple of blocks down in the city.
However, lately I felt as though I can’t sit anywhere without feeling like I have to pay for something, such as a restaurant, even if I’m there just to study and request for a free cup of water. But walking around looking for a quiet place to sit ALONE is nearly impossible because there’s not that many closed out places in which students, such as myself, can sit alone.
Take the library for instance. Yes, there are mini cubicles on the the upper floor levels, but even those cubicles are connected with another meaning that even if you don’t interact with another student that’s sitting right across from you, you’re not alone even in your own space. In the second floor of the library near the computers, there’s loveseats arranged in groups of four with a table in between two that are facing the other two. Now, I have sat in these seats from time to time, however, it’s kind of awkward trying to chill in your own little space whenever
1) you can hear everything a group of students is discussing sitting right behind in the other set of chairs
2) when another student or even a group of students sit in the same organized roundabout where you are.
Also, the student center plays a part on the structure as well. When you walk around the first floor of the student center, even though it is more larger and open than the library, there’s still that structure of chairs in groups of four with a table in the center. Now, many students take advantage of these chairs by scooting them away from the others and into their own little spaces, but still there’s that notion where even if you’re still not interacting with one another, you’re still together. Head to the second floor, there’s no four chairs and one table but more so benches and tables. However, all the way to the third floor, there is a row against one wall where it’s just chairs with attachable desks aligned. Usually, this is where most students would sit by themselves and spread out from one another, but it’s still in a sense of togetherness despite the lack of interaction.
Sometimes, I don’t feel like sitting in the chairs being surrounded by other people, and I’m sure some students feel the same way. When I go to the library, I (and a couple of other students I have seen) will sit in between the bookshelves to develop my own sacred breathing space from other people. When I go into the student center, it’s really hard to find an area to just sit alone so usually I’ve stir away from it. In my dorm, if my one of my roommate is in the room, I’ll sit in the lobby depending on how crowded it is or isn’t. And usually when students come in to find space to sit in the lobby, even if it was just one person like me in a booth, in a table with three other chairs, or on one of the small couches on the very back, they would stir away and look for another area to sit.
So, it’s not the students that’s bothering me. It’s not necessarily the structure of the chairs used for “chillin'” that bothering me either. It’s the demand I have for wanting to be in my own sacred and little space.
So it’s not you, GSU. It’s me.