Mar 07
Interview 1
Questions:
- Tell me about a time where you felt unsafe meeting someone that you meet online or from an app for a first date?
- How did this experience make you feel?
- What motivates you to use these methods of dating?
- What is your goal in using these methods?
- What are you currently doing to keep yourself safe while using these methods?
Interviewee:
02/26/2021 @ 7 pm via Zoom
- This experience was unexpected. She chatted with the person for several days before the date. She felt disappointed, uneasy, tricked, mislead, and upset.
- She felt this way because she values complete honesty and not half of the truth.
- She is dating in hopes of finding a partner.
- She now has video calls prior to any first date. She also sends a screenshot of the persons profile and info about the date to her sister.
- She doesn’t like to tell others when every time she goes on a first date. She and her sister are different, and she feels a little judged when she goes on a few first dates in a short period of time.
- Her sister is married so she reaches out to her for advice.
- She is a young girl who has only had one serious relationship. She feels that she doesn’t meet any people at work because most of her coworkers are older and already married. She seems like she truly wants to find a partner but is having trouble which is why she chooses to use Bumble.
Interview 2
Questions:
- Have you recently felt unsafe when meeting a person for a date you did not know?
- Can you tell me how this experience affected you?
- Has this experience changed the way you date?
- Are you currently using apps/online dating and why?
Interviewee:
03/01/2021 @ 7:30 pm via Zoom
- He felt a lot of negative emotions that amounted to anger.
- He values privacy and being a good person. He believes in treating others with kindness. He lives by treating others like you would want someone to treat your family members.
- He is trying to find a wife.
- He didn’t think he had to worry about his own safety since he is a man. He feels like people only focus on women, but men face issues too. He doesn’t have a solution many solutions. He does ask anyone he goes on a date with to check in with someone if the date gave his info to someone else.
- He asks his parents, friends, and brothers for advice.
- He explained that he felt safe during the date, however, once the date ended his date did not check in with her friend resulting in him being threatened. He feels that being a muscular black man people tend to fear him and react too soon. He also feels that he is afraid of the police every being involved with the current climate with BLM and the police. He genuinely wants to get married and doesn’t have many other options to meet people since he feels prejudged when meeting women in person. He wants the women he dates to feel safe, but he also worries about the women giving his info to others.
Interview 3
Questions:
- Have you recently felt unsafe when meeting a person for a date you did not know?
- Can you tell me how this experience affected you?
- Has this experience changed the way you date?
- Are you currently using apps/online dating and why?
Interviewee:
03/01/2021 @ 7:30 pm via Zoom
- He felt a lot of negative emotions that amounted to anger.
- He values privacy and being a good person. He believes in treating others with kindness. He lives by treating others like you would want someone to treat your family members.
- He is trying to find a wife.
- He didn’t think he had to worry about his own safety since he is a man. He feels like people only focus on women, but men face issues too. He doesn’t have a solution many solutions. He does ask anyone he goes on a date with to check in with someone if the date gave his info to someone else.
- He asks his parents, friends, and brothers for advice.
- He explained that he felt safe during the date, however, once the date ended his date did not check in with her friend resulting in him being threatened. He feels that being a muscular black man people tend to fear him and react too soon. He also feels that he is afraid of the police every being involved with the current climate with BLM and the police. He genuinely wants to get married and doesn’t have many other options to meet people since he feels prejudged when meeting women in person. He wants the women he dates to feel safe, but he also worries about the women giving his info to others.
Interview 4
Questions:
- Have you recently felt unsafe when meeting a person for a date you did not know?
- Can you tell me how this experience affected you?
- Has this experience changed the way you date?
- Are you currently using apps/online dating and why?
Interviewee:
03/04/2021 @ 6:00 pm via Zoom
- She felt mislead, surprised, upset, and unsure.
- She values meaningful connections with others.
- She is trying to find a boyfriend.
- She requests to speak on the phone or video chat before meeting in person. However, this doesn’t always happen because people are busy and may not have time.
- She seeks advice from friends who are also dating.
- She met a guy who looked like the pictures but his personality did not fit well with what she was expecting. His mannerisms and personality made her feel uncomfortable. He did not seem to really want to get to know her. He seemed like he thought that since he was taking her out that she was obligated to come back to his place. He also drank too much.
Interview 5
Questions:
- Have you recently felt unsafe when meeting a person for a date you did not know?
- Can you tell me how this experience affected you?
- Has this experience changed the way you date?
- Are you currently using apps/online dating and why?
Interviewee:
03/06/2021 @ 1:30 pm via Zoom
- She felt scared, exposed, and uneasy.
- She values expanding and growing as a person as often as possible.
- She recently ended a long-term relationship and wanted to start the process of dating again.
- She now Ubers to locations she is unfamiliar with.
- She feels that not driving makes it easy for guys to ask her to come over.
- She seeks advice from family and friends. She talks to her best friend the most about dating and the conversations often end in advice.
- Her date went well. She felt unsafe walking in Downtown Atlanta back to her car alone. Since she was on a first date she was dressed up and got hit on a lot on the way back. The attention was not wanted.
Analysis
Patterns:
- It seems that everyone is using online dating because they do not meet new people that pique their interest during their everyday lives.
- They all seem genuine in their approach.
- They all had a bad experience when their emotions were already heightened.
- These experiences seemed to trigger insecurities.
- They all seemed to have expectations for people they haven’t met yet.
- None of them spoke to or video chatted with their dates prior to the meeting.
- They all sent some type of electronic messages prior to the date.
- They are all educated, sensible people.
- They all seemed like they would like to keep their dating life somewhat private.
Insight
They are all trying to find companionship in one form or another. Most of them are trying to find long-term relationships but do not meet new people often. I think that first dates will cause nerves regardless of how the two met. When you have a lot of unknowns people feel uneasy already. This uneasy feeling triggers insecurities and puts them on edge. I think they are trying to follow the dating norm. This leaves a lot of room for disappointment.
