My most challenging Moment

“When life knocks you down stand up and walk away. If you can not walk away crawl away.” These words resonate with me everyday. In life it is guaranteed that we will be faced with unconscionable adversity. Some challenges help to shape our character while others will completely alter the course of our lives. The question “What is the greatest challenge you have ever faced?” is a reasonable one, yet it nearly brought me to tears. I, like all other people, have experienced tragedy, loss, and disappointment but not a single one of these adversities is worth writing about. Every tragedy I have endured has taught me to be strong in mind and will. Ever loss I have experienced has taught me to value all that I have because it is not promised. Every disappointment I have overcome has taught me never to concede to circumstance. All of my unfavorable experiences have made me who I am today and I covet them as I do my greatest experiences, except one. My most challenging moment was losing my grandmother to cancer.

My grandmother, Annie Easter Mims, was born in Mississippi in 1917 to Manetha and Dan Buckhaulter. She had six brothers and a younger sister. When she was eleven her mother passed away. It was then that she became the remarkable woman she remain until she died. She left school and and took on the immense responsibility of caring for her entire family. It is a reasonable thought to wonder why a child would be expected to care for eight people including her father, but it is not a question I ever asked her. I doubt it was a question she ever asked herself. She knew what was expected of her and she performed her tasks ungrudgingly. Her life did not get easier as she grew older. She cared for all of her brothers well into adulthood. She was married at a young age and gave birth to eight children. Her younger sister, Ola Mae, became very ill in her early twenties. She laid, dying in the front room of my grandmother’s home. In between caring for her young child and supporting her fully grown brothers, she futilely nurse her sister until she died of her disease. She worked as a housemaid for close to nothing to sustain all of the people who relied on her. She endured more than anyone should have to. In her later years she was diagnosed with diabetes, high blood pressure, and cancer twice but she did not let that impede upon her life.

When she was 83 she was diagnosed with stomach cancer. I was only eight years old and I did not understand what the illness meant. What I knew was that my grandmother was a fighter. I knew that she would live forever and that any disease that entered her body had made a critical mistake. Over the next year she made a full recovery, her cancer went into remission, and she was her impressive self again. All was well until about a week before her death. In the early hours of a Monday my mother received a distressing phone call. My grandmother woke in the night complaining of pain in her stomach. I have seen my mother fearful before but this was something different. She had a look on her face that assured me that all was not well. My grandmother’s cancer had come back. She went to Mississippi to be with her mother and my father and I followed at the end of the week. I remember the timing so vividly because I still had to go to school. The week my grandmother fell ill was also my school’s testing week. Everyday for five days I received reports of my grandmother’s worsening condition yet I still had to find the will to get up and go to school. It was more than hard, it was excruciating. All that mattered to me was seeing my grandmother one last time, but I was forced to be away from her doing work that I frankly did not care about. I received my test results soon after and despite my personal problems I performed exceptionally well. Just like my grandmother I fought through my grief and did my best because that was the example she set for me. When the worst week of my life came to an end I was devastated to learn how much worse it would get. When I arrived in Mississippi I still held on to hope that she would pull through, that the fighter in her wasn’t done yet. I entered the hospital praying for a miracle, promising God that I would do better if he would save my grandmother. The hallways were long, white, and barren yet I still searched for my miracle. When I entered the room I knew. I saw her in her bed struggling to even lay still. My heartbeat was the only think I could hear as I approached her bed. The air grew thicker and I found it hard to breathe. I looked down at her limp body and I couldn’t speak. I just smiled at her with thick tears clouding my eyes. She looked back at me with an expression of unbearable pain. I reached for her hand and managed to mutter something I can not recall today. What I do remember was her change of expression. I could tell that it took every bit of strength but she smiled at me. That was the last time I ever saw my grandmother.

She was the strongest woman I had ever met. She was a blessing to anyone in need. Through everything she endured she remained cheerful, never dwelling on her misfortune and always grateful for all that she had. She would always say, “When life knocks you down stand up and walk away. If you can not walk away crawl away.” Her words are reminiscent of her life and they always serve as a guide when I find myself disheartened. She lived to be 94 years old and she lived everyday determined to overcome anything she was faced with. I am so proud that she was mine and I was hers.

Why does this matter? Why should anyone other than my family care about Annie Easter? Very few attribute in this world are celebrated. Fame, wealth, and connection seem to be the only way to be widely received in life and death, but Annie had something else. She had will, determination, and generations of people who loved her. She mattered because all of the people she touched live their lives determined to pay her graciousness forward. I will remember her life and I will overcome. I will never be defeated by hardship or conquered by affliction. My grandmother was the most influential person in my life, and I will live everyday to honor her.