Before I start explaining what I came out with, I have to say that I am dyslexic, so I tend to misread, miss over, or misunderstand words/sentences/paragraphs often. I completely missed the part in the instructions that this was supposed to be on paper. I didn’t have enough time to restart, so I had to submit it this way.

So, according to this assignment, we’re supposed to pick our spirit animal and use materials to show this animal defeating your nightmare. I know absolutely nothing about spirit animals, so I took the quiz on the website provided to find what spirit animal I have, was given a deer, and went with that. As for my nightmare, it’s a bit of complexity. Since I was a child, I always had health issues. Growing up, mental disorders, chronic illnesses, and PTSD with physical and verbal sexual harassment were added to my list of complicated things to deal with. All I’ve known in my life is pain and suffering, so it’s an earnest and genuine question for me to ask other people often: what’s it like to be okay? Because I’ve never experienced that–I always have had problems. So for me, my nightmare is my bodily issues.

I used a cardboard box as the base (and it was already painted purple from years ago when I did it which also happens to be my favourite colour). I had lots of leftover scraps of scrapbook paper from when I used to scrapbook, so I tore up those papers into pieces and used duct tape, clear tape, and washi tape to stick them to the cardboard. Then I taped on leftover yarn strands I had remaining from when I was wrapping gifts sometime in the spring of last year. In the last two photos is the representation of a deer. I used a leftover glove from my biology lab and put five empty acrylic tubes inside the glove to make it have a head and four legs. I taped the makeshift deer onto the cardboard and added some yarn over it as well.

The cardboard base represents me. The different pieces of scrapbook paper represent all my issues. The tape showcases me being broken and attempted to have been fixed many times. I used clear tape for success, white tape for in progress, and red and black for failure–red standing for fresh wounds and black for old wounds. The yarn comes from the deer’s antlers and shows how the deer is trying to defeat my nightmare–green for winning, blue for tied, and red for losing. There is one empty panel on the right that showcases the 1/3 of my nightmare that the deer has been able to defeat.

If you’re thinking, “This is very chaotic and messy,” great! I achieved my goal! This is exactly what it looks like in my brain.