Dear Journal,

He was a skater boy. She said, “see you later boy.” Bummer.

Where some girls sought the “skater boy,” others desired the “mama’s boy.” Like how women where classified into two stereotypes of attractiveness, we also see two primary stereotypes of the “ideal” man: Either the innocent and dabber gentleman or the charismatic bad boy. It has always been a battle between bow ties and beanies. The day has come where society admits they want both, the two-for-one package. ***Drum roll*** Introducing the Drake “get you a man that can do both” meme.

Unlike some of the other memes previously shown, this meme conveys a more serious and literal tone. This meme reflects rising expectations and standards for attractiveness for males, at least in American dating culture. Where males once had the option of being the “gentleman” or the “bad boy,” both considered attractive depending on your preference, society raised the standard of beauty for males by saying they must be able to “do both.” In regards to physical attributes, girls are still looking for the height and the chiseled arms, abs, neck, butt, and shoulders. IN ADDITION TO THAT, they want the guys to capture the “good boy” and “bad boy” persona through the appropriate outfits.

At what point do these expectations become unrealistic?

According to Business Insider, “women’s standards of attractiveness are just as unrealistic as men’s,” and arguably more so. Although their study focused on physical attributes like height and shoulder proportions opposed to clothing, it still supports the idea that women’s standards for attractiveness are in fact higher than men’s for their partner’s attractiveness. The study presented different photos of males to a 105 females, where each female ranked the photos on attractiveness. Only 2.5 percent of males in the world have the characteristics of the male that the women deemed “most attractive.” From a biological standpoint, the article also discusses how females of any species tend to be more particular for reproductive purposes.

And men are definitely feeling the pressure.

“As much as we might hate it, Temple University psychology professor Donald Hantula says beauty standards are a reality. And that reality, he says, is constantly changing. This change can be attributed to evolutionary psychology – the way society regards the beautiful and the successful.”

To obtain the “beauty” aspect of that, we have observed a dramatic increase of men obsessing over fitness and self image. They describe it not as exercise but as a lifestyle. For instance, “It can send the message you’re an intense personality or a high achiever in and outside the office — or that you have a lot of money.”

So, the meme digs deeper than merely just appearance though to ultimately focus on “success.” For example, the picture of Drake on the left may allude to the fact that he has a steady income, possibly a nice house and car, etc., and therefore, materialistically successful. The picture of him on the right may indicate that he’s cool, athletic, street smart, etc., and therefore, socially successful.

Norman Li, associate professor of psychology at Singapore Management University, conducted a study that revealed women were more likely to reject a man based on their social status than based on their physical appearance.

“And Millennials, Loro says, are growing up with pressures on them to fit a certain mold … It’s a term that says, ‘You should look this way. This is what men look like.’ It’s not a term that says, ‘I choose this for who I am.’ Loro says the ways people dress and act doesn’t necessarily need to be defined with a word. Coining a term, she says, sets a standard.”

This. Is. Alarming. These standards can be both physically and psychologically draining for men. Of course, there is the stigma that men must be stable, strong, and therefore emotionally unaffected (aka “be a man“), preventing them from expressing their dented self confidence due to such standards. That’s why this is oftentimes not addressed, where body image and beauty standards for women are oftentimes the leading headline.

Until next time, sweet memes & sleep tight,

Lexie