By Lillian Teffere

Who needs old-fashioned dating when there’s an app for that? From heart-eyed emojis to breaking up over text messaging, it’s no secret that digital technology is completely transforming today’s dating scene.

Social media applications such as Tinder and Instagram are replacing the traditional process of dating. Now with just the swipe of a finger, you can find a potential partner within seconds, all the while finding out what you need to know about them in 150 words or less.

While the traditional concept of dating is remembered as two people attracted to each other and spending time together, that is no longer the case. Stephanie Sudden, a woman born in the 1940s, explained how much of a transformation she’s seen happen to dating since she was younger.

“Dating in the 50s and 60s was a completely different thing. We had different music, things were just different, but in a good way! You had dances after school or on the weekends, and then there were house parties on the weekend. You got together as a group, and you met people in a different way. You met them in those groups, or your best friend’s brothers or that kind of thing. It was a much more intimate thing than it is now where you’ve got some digital thing involved.”

Matios Teffere is a 16 year old, growing up heavily influenced by the digital age. Doing the majority of his social interactions through text messaging or online through social media, Teffere’s view on dating has become the complete opposite of Ms. Sudden.

“Dating is kind of a mix of meeting people in person, like at school or parties, and then getting their social media info. Then you guys just talk, but over that. It’s that or being at the same place, and one of their friends gives you their social media info. Or you come across their page on Instagram because you have mutual friends.”

The simplicity of private messaging has reinvented the capability to pursue potential partners. Through sites specifically made for dating, such as Tinder and Plenty of Fish, you get to learn just enough information about a person. Generally, in these 150 words or less biographies, you can learn a person’s height, weight and some vague information regarding his or her personality.

Khadijah Jones and Quania Davis, both recent college graduates in their early twenties, have taken a trial run on online dating applications. Ranging from Black People Meet to Tinder, their experiences served everything but authentic connections.

When asked how the two felt towards online dating,  Jones stated, “It’s more personable. I’m all based on vibes and when I meet you in person, I get more of a tangible connection., versus online where I get a picture that I have to decipher.”

Davis said, “It’s like an onion theory. I think with online dating it’s more layers. You have to pull it piece by piece to get to know someone. In person, it’s not as much of a facade. There’s definitely more trust meeting someone in person than online.”

Online profiles allow people to establish an unconscious bias towards whoever’s profile they’re viewing. When you look at someone’s’ profile, you’re only given a side of them that highlights their positive attributes. This makes it harder to establish a true chemistry if you have a false, unrealistically-perfect image of them from the very beginning.

A common difficulty people are finding now in dating is establishing where they stand with their partner. Over the course of a few decades, the terminology applicable to dating has also made a complete transformation.

When asked to explain the terminology of her day, Ms. Sudden described it as a lengthier process. Hanging out, going steady, getting pinned, engagement, and marriage were the steps in dating that usually spanned over the course of a few years.

Hanging out was simply that, but in a group setting. Going steady was where you spent more time separately with one specific person. Getting pinned was where a guy gave you their fraternity pin which was a symbol of future engagement. When you got engaged, you would usually stay engaged for a year. Over that time, you would announce the engagement to everyone in the community and start getting things in order for your future together. Finally, after the course of what took years, you and your partner got married.

Now, dating is a much shorter process with only three steps: talking, “situationship,”  and in the rare occurrence: a relationship. Teffere explained that dating in the digital age is basically wanting the facade of a relationship, just not the work of one.

“You’ve got talking, also called “vibing,” where you’re usually trying to get to know someone mostly over text. You hang out in groups more than you would alone, but sometimes you do get together alone. Usually, it’s for food or to hook up. This is generally where you get caught up in a “situationship.” It’s just a relationship with no foundation. There’s no commitment, but you get all the benefits of a relationship. It’s a lot easier than a relationship, but usually ends up a lot more complicated.”

With the emergence of social media and online dating, establishing a genuine connection with someone has become a thing of the past. The more involvement digital apps take in the day to day lives of society, the less time we spend getting to know people for more than 150 words and a few photos online. While society is more connected than it has ever been, we are quickly becoming more emotionally disconnected from each other. Simply put, there’s no longer charm in dating since now there’s an app for that!

CAPTION: Couple sits close together admiring sunset.