American Culture

NAMES

First or given names are used in the US more frequently than anywhere else. The last name is the family name. If they are about the same age or status people may call each other by their first names immediately after they meet.
 
When you meet someone who has a title like “Professor,” “Doctor,” “Ambassador,” “President,” or “Dean,” it is correct to use that title and the person’s last or family name. “Ms.” is an appropriate way to address both married and unmarried women. If invited to address someone by their first name, you may do so. In the classroom if you feel uncomfortable calling your instructor by the first name, you can use a title and their last name.
 
If you don’t know how to address a person you can follow these general rules:

• Address people of your own approximate age and status by their first name.
• If the person is older use Mr., Mrs., Miss or Ms. and the last name. Ask them “What shall I call you?” or “How shall I address you?”
• If someone appears uncertain about how to address you say, “You can call me…”

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Be patient with people in terms of helping them pronounce your name. Just like some sounds are new to you, there will be sounds that are new to others.
 
Get in the habit of using your official name when you write your signature. Signing abbreviations of your name can be confusing. It is also helpful for instructors and other people who come in contact with you to know your full name and your nickname. Some international students may use nicknames because people have trouble pronouncing their birth names. Being called by a nickname can indicate you are viewed with respect and affection.
 
JUST SAY NO
​The freedom of speech to which Americans have become accustomed has established a way of communicating that is sometimes seen as very direct. Directness while communicating with others is very acceptable and sometimes expected. DON’T FEEL BAD ABOUT SAYING NO!
 
In some countries, open rejection or disagreement may be considered rude. This is not the case in the United States. Here it is quite normal to disagree openly. Therefore, the following scenarios have been provided in order to give you a better idea of how to say “No” when you find yourself in
one of these situations.
 
Telemarketing
You may get phone calls from people wanting to sell you things or wanting you to give money to a charity. Credit card companies may try to give you credit cards, marketing companies may ask you to participate in surveys, and telemarketers may try to sell you various products.
The people who call may ask for your personal information without telling you why they are asking. They may also keep talking without giving you the chance to talk and explain
things that you don’t understand. They will also do their best to keep you on the phone as long as possible. This is their job.
 
What you can do is say, “No, thank you!” and hang-up the
telephone. Don’t stay on the phone any longer once you have said it. If these people come to your door, just say, “No
thanks!” and close your door. Don’t worry about being rude—they are used to it. It is possible to have your phone number removed from most of the telemarketers’ lists by registering your number on the National Do Not Call List at www.donotcall.gov.
 
Religion
People may try to get you to visit or join their church. They may invite you to one of their organization’s events or give you books and magazines about their religion. What you can do if you don’t wish to attend their meetings or church
services is simply say, “No, thank you.” It is not rude and they should not get angry. Even if the person has been a good friend or helped you in some way, you have the right not to attend a church service or meeting if you don’t want to.
 
Panhandlers
Panhandlers (or beggars) are very common in Atlanta, especially around the Five Points area. If you have classes near Five Points, you will probably see panhandlers every day. They may be standing or walking around asking people for money. If they approach you, DO NOT GIVE THEM MONEY. Panhandling is illegal and should not be encouraged, and charities provide shelter and food for those who need it.
 
If you are approached, you can say, “Sorry, I don’t have any money,” or “No, thanks.” If the person becomes aggressive or insists, just walk away. If possible, try to avoid coming near panhandlers at night.

Drugs
Recreational drugs are common in the United States. You are most likely to be offered drugs at a party, a night club, or a bar. It’s all right to say “NO.” Also be aware that many of these drugs are made in people’s homes and cut, or mixed, with deadly substances.
 
Never set your drink down at a party or bar! People can slip drugs into your drink this way. If you happen to set your cup down, get a new cup and drink. Remember that you always have the right to say no to anything you encounter that makes you feel uncomfortable.
 
Alcohol
The legal age to purchase and/or drink alcohol is 21, and you must show your identification before buying any kind of alcohol. It is illegal to carry open containers of alcohol in public places like the street, or even transport them in your car. In addition, the laws against drunk driving are very strict. DO NOT DRINK BEFORE YOU DRIVE. Not only is this dangerous to you and others, but you could also lose your license and go to jail – for international students this means deportation.
 
 
FRIENDSHIPS
U.S. student may consider you a friend, but he or she may invite you to do something only once or twice a quarter. This is not because he or she does not like you. It simply means that life in the United States is very busy and U.S. students tend to have many commitments (work and family, for instance, in addition to their studies) and not much free time.
 
Sometimes international students feel that U.S. students are superficial because they act very friendly but do not wish to build a friendship. Acting friendly is a U.S. custom. It is intended to create positive feelings. Some new international students feel confused when someone they do not know says hello to them in the street. This casual greeting is not intended to encourage a conversation or express a romantic interest. It is just another form of American friendliness.
 
“Hi, how are you?” is a common greeting in the United States, but very often the person who asks the question does not wait for a response. Some international students think this is very rude, but it is not intended to be. It is not customary for the person asking this question to wait for a deep answer. It is customary to reply, “Fine” or “Good.” You may also want to ask how the other person is. She or he will most likely answer with the same brief response.

DATING
When you first start interacting with Americans, it may seem a little awkward in the way they joke around and socialize. Someone you meet may find an interest in you, or you may find an interest in him or her. So, if you are interested, how do you make the first move? If you are not interested, how do you tell that person?
 
If you like someone:
Tell him or her that you are interested and ask him or her to have dinner or coffee with you sometime. It is all right to be direct in these cases. Don’t worry—even most Americans find this difficult. Do not go out alone with someone you just met. If someone asks you on a date and you wish to accept, agree to meet in a public area with other people around.
 
If you don’t like someone:
When he or she asks to see you sometime, you can simply say, “Probably not, but thank you.”
 
If you no longer want to date someone or if you are not interested in having sex with someone who is pressuring you, simply tell him or her directly what you want. Don’t be afraid to state your mind or else he or she may assume you are still interested. If someone behaves aggressively or threateningly, end the relationship. You do not need to be polite if someone makes you feel pressured or scared.
 
 
CULTURAL VALUES
​Independence
The United States was founded by people who valued independence. An independent spirit is still evident in this culture. Many people from the U.S. believe that they are responsible for their own destinies. Being self-reliant is considered more important than relying on family and friends. Many people from the United States believe that individuals reach maturity at age 18 and should be ready to make independent decisions. Privacy is valued for many of the same reasons. Even among members of a family, issues such as money, marriage, and career decisions may not be discussed out of respect for a person’s privacy.
 
 
Work Ethic
People from the United States tend to value being busy, and we often make lists of what we hope to accomplish in a day! You may notice that people in the U.S. walk quickly, talk quickly and pay little attention to manners and politeness. We want to “get down to business” rather than make polite conversation. We don’t mean to be rude! We just have a lot to do (or think we do).
 
 
Race, Ethnicity, and Gender
Many people in the United States like to think that all people are equal—race, color, religion, ethnicity, class, gender, and sexual orientation are unimportant to our value as human beings. Words like “tolerance” and “appreciation” are words that we may use to describe our relationship with people different from ourselves. For this reason, racist and sexist jokes and comments are not tolerated in many social and business settings. In fact, people who make such comments could lose their jobs.
 
However, despite these principles, many inequalities still exist in the United States. You may hear people make negative comments about other groups. You may even experience discrimination because you are an international student. If this happens to you and you wish to talk about it, talk to an advisor in the ISSS office or a counselor from the Counseling Center. An advisor or counselor who is familiar with these issues will try to understand the situation and make some suggestions for dealing with it.
 
Some international students are surprised to hear men and women say they are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. There is a growing community of Americans who identify themselves as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender and do not believe that it is necessary to keep this a secret. This community has become more visible and accepted, and people who are part of this population form a respected part of U.S. society. You will most likely have a professor, classmate, roommate, or friend who is gay. Remember to treat the people you meet with the same respect and openness that you would want to be treated with.
 
 
U.S. HOLIDAYS
There are many different holidays in the United States, the most widely celebrated ones are:

• January 1 – New Year’s Day. Beginning on the evening of December 31, Americans celebrate the New Year.
• Third Monday in January – Martin Luther King Jr. Day. This holiday celebrates the life of Reverend Martin Luther King Jr., a leader of the U.S. civil rights movement.
• Third Monday of February – Presidents’ Day. This is a day to remember past U.S. presidents George Washington, the first U.S. president, and Abraham Lincoln, the 16th president who led the country during the Civil War and is credited with abolishing slavery. Both were born in this month.

• March 17—St. Patrick’s Day. Named for the patron saint of Ireland, this day is often celebrated with parades and parties. Many people wear green clothing and put up decorations—even if they’re not of Irish decent! If you do not wear green on this day, classmates may pinch you.
• Springtime (date varies)—Easter. This is a traditional Christian holiday, when people decorate eggs and children are visited by the Easter Bunny.
• Last Monday in May – Memorial Day. This holiday is a time that Americans remember all of those who died in war for the United States.
• July 4 – Independence Day. On July 4, 1776, the Declaration of Independence, a document the United States used to declare its independence from England, was signed. Americans celebrate this holiday with picnics and fireworks.
• First Monday in September – Labor Day. This holiday recognizes the efforts of American workers.
• October 31—Halloween. People often celebrate this holiday by wearing costumes and carving scary faces on pumpkins. Children dress up in costumes and go trick-or- treating to get candy.
• Last Thursday in November – Thanksgiving. According to legend, the first European settlers of the United States gave thanks for their first harvest season by eating a feast with Native Americans. This is a traditional time for families and friends to eat a big turkey dinner together.
• December 25 – Christmas Day. This holiday, at one time a traditionally Christian one, is now a time for most people to exchange gifts, decorate homes, and attend gatherings and parties for the few weeks before December 25.

 
But sometimes we have classes on some of the holidays. For the scheduled paid holidays of GSU, check: http://employees.hr.gsu.edu/benefits/active- employees/vacation-and-leaves/holiday-schedule/ or your syllabus to avoid missing class.
 
CULTURAL ADJUSTMENT
Everyone who moves to a new country experiences a period of adjustment and adaptation to the new culture. This is sometimes referred to as “culture shock” because of the difficulty of leaving your home culture and living in a new culture. It includes the shock of a new environment, meeting lots of new people, and learning the ways of a different country. It also includes being separated from the important people in your life, such as family, friends, colleagues, or teachers.
 
Culture shock is entirely normal, usually unavoidable, and it does not mean anything bad about you or your new home. Actually, it can be a very significant learning experience, because it makes you more aware of your own culture as well

as the new culture you have entered. It will give you valuable skills that will serve you in many ways in the future—it’s part of the benefit of international education.
 
Some typical symptoms of culture shock are:

• Extreme homesickness
• Loneliness
• Avoiding contact with other people, especially Americans
• Negative feelings and hostility toward American culture and people
• Anger, frustration, confusion
• Tiredness or need for excessive amounts of sleep
• Boredom
• Inability to concentrate or work
• Loss of appetite
• Loss of enjoyment in daily activities
  • Lack of confidence
  • Feelings of inadequacy or insecurity
• Depression and feelings of helplessness

 
Although you can’t stop culture shock, there are some things you can do to make yourself feel better. Here are some ideas:

• Understand that your reactions are normal
• Be open-minded and curious about your new environment
• Talk with an International Student Advisor about your feelings
• Make friends with Americans and other international students
• If you struggle with academics, talk with your professors and advisors
• Stay busy with academics, hobbies, friends, and other interesting activities
• Exercise or participate in sports
• Try a new activity that you can’t do in your home country
• Don’t forget the reasons you came to America
• Be patient with yourself and your new culture

 
When culture shock hits you, just remember that it is a normal part of being an international student. You will pass through periods of ups and downs, but in the end it will all be worth it. Try to focus on all the positive and rewarding aspects of your experience!
 
For more information on American culture and living in the United States, take a look at the following links. http://www.leaderu.com/isr http://www.isep.org/Family/helping_before.asp http://www.internationalstudent.com
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