Following last week’s class activities,  I had a clearer idea of what needed to be done within the group. Things, like roles and procedures, that we had already settled on were revealed to need more consideration.

I think the most enlightening exercise was the one that required us to list the official roles that we have in our group. As the class began to offer their ideas on what was required of each position, one thing became very clear to me. We needed to make some minor adjustments to the way we communicate.

Right now, our communication system involves mostly email and GroupMe. It was only after we began to discuss how each committee, or the executive head of each committee, conferred with the rest of the cohort that I realized our slight hiccup. Everyone seemed to be under the assumption that each executive head was going to emailing their information to the rest of the cohort.

In general, there is nothing wrong with that setup, but we have a communications committee (which I’m om). What is the point of the communications committee if not to regulate and manage the  flow of communication. I feel that outside of our monthly assembly meetings, exec. heads should not be emailing cohort members that are not apart of their committee. Any information that the cohort receives should go through my committee. Exec heads could send someone an email to someone within my committee who could then tailor that message and send it to everyone. This would also apply to the meeting head. It would be more effective if the person who mediates the meetings sends the agenda to my committee who would then handle sending it to the cohort.

I think this would be more effective because then emails would not be coming from everyone, and it would also give other committee members something to do. Right now, there are maybe five people on the communications committee. Brianna heads the meetings, Janavi keeps the minutes, and Daniel handles our Google Docs and emails. If we centralize the email chain, then Daniel could share the roles with another person to not put so much pressure on himself and share the workload.

The system that we have in place right now is working, and it is working fine; I just feel that we could make it work a little smoothly. Our organization does not have an email domain that lets us know “Hey, this message if coming from the LEAD Group.” Instead we get messages from every other member and at some point, usually in the actual email we are told that it deals with LEAD stuff.

I made the suggestion. We’ll see if it gets picked up.

Anyway, I think that was the most important thing that I took from our exercises. I don’t feel hopeless or frustrated or anything like that because what we have works; I just saw a way to make it work  a bit better.

The textbook tells us that many groups never reach the “performing” stage. Instead, these groups toggle between the forming and storming stages. Knowing the likelihood that a group as new and youthful as ours will reach the performing stage, really only makes me more determined to ensure that we do get there. The book details how groups that do reach the performing stage are usually more “mature” and task-oriented. They have gotten to a place where they focus less on who the group is and more on what the group needs to do.

Right now, LEAD is definitely stuck trying to figure who it is that we want to be so that we can determine how to become that. Also, we are a very social group. So maybe we need to become more task-oriented? BUT lol, in the last few weeks, it seems like LEAD has really become about something. Like before we were ingredients in dough, but now we are actually beginning the molding process.

My fellow LEAD people have organized group meetings, mentoring meet and greets, and have begun the very serious task of budget managing and retreat planning. There is an air of serious business to the group now that I can really appreciate.

I personally feel like we are progressing and will continue to progress given that conflicts aren’t a regularly occurring thing for us. I could compare it to a ball that finally crested the top of a hill, not that the hill represents our achievement but rather an obstacle, now that we’ve come over that hump and begun to work towards something (still undefined), we will continue to pick up momentum until we reach that goal.

By the time we’ve reached it, it will be time for the next cohort to step up and take our places, beginning a new cycle and enhancing their own experiences.

In regards to our small group projects, I have no clue. I’m not as sure that the performing stage described in the book will be reached. Only because we have taken so long to come up with our topic. I don’t doubt that our group will get the assignment done, and done well. I’m just not confident about how smoothly the work process will go.

But I’m told that hard work and perseverance are key. There are certainly ways that I know we can improve my small group, and so at the end of the day, we’ll do what needs to be done to get what we want. All As please!

I often engage in upward social comparison. On the other hand, I would say that I rarely engage in downward social comparison. I don’t feel that it does me good to judge myself against someone who is in a worse position than me, when I know that I’m aiming to be in a better or different position. Also, my comparisons are not usually concerning academic or professional success. Something that is important to me is maintaining and developing strong, positive relationships. If I am comparing myself to someone else, it’s usually comparing our personalities and friendliness.

One of my best friends is the most friendly, open, approachable person that I’ve ever met. She doesn’t have problems in her friendships or problems making friends. When I would compare her socialness to mine, I would really feel bad. I knew that I was a completely different person than her, with a different personality and strengths. I saw in her qualities that I would love to see in myself, but I couldn’t see how I could gain those qualities in myself.

I was wanting to change and be more like her until I realized that there wasn’t anything wrong with me. While I may not be the person that I would love to see myself being, I did like myself. I remembered that I had good relationships. My friendships don’t always run smoothly, but I trust that the people in my life genuinely cared for me. My friend may be more social and generally more likable than me, she has a lot of “extra” people in her life that were just around her, while everyone that I choose to have in my life serves a purpose. Because of the smaller group that I have and maintain, I have such a great appreciation for these people.

When I compare myself to my friend, I am motivated to become a better friend, to try more new things, and put myself out there more. For the most part, my experience fit the principles described in the book, but at the same time. I was experiencing positive and negative effects from my comparison, and I ultimately leave the comparison in much the same “place” that I was when I began.  I feel bad for awhile, but it make me appreciate what and who I do have all the more.

So far, my group has created a GroupMe page to communicate with each other, and we have begun to discuss ideas, but we still haven’t decided on what topic to choose.

In the Spring 2016 semester, I joined Redeemed Gospel Choir, a group on campus. A friend of mine from my high school choir told me about this group; he often spoke of how similar the group was to the high school choir that we’d left behind. Although I’d been urged to join RGC in the fall, I wasn’t sure about that I wanted to make the commitment or how well I’d fit with the group.

I decided to just adjust that first semester and to reconsider membership in the Spring… I joined. I would like to believe that my personality lies somewhere between being an extravert and an introvert. While I am not the type to usually jump into a new environment and be this social butterfly, actively working to form new relationships, I also don’t take the shy road. I’m kind of a observer. I need to see a group and get an understanding of it to see if there is room for me or if room can be made for me. After getting a good feel for the group, my own personality begins to come out.

So I joined Redeemed, and spent the first few rehearsals (we have them weekly) learning names and watching the way everyone else interacted with each other. Because I do value relationality, I really wanted to build relationships with everyone there. I did not want to come to rehearsal every week and sit by myself in silence until it started and then leave as soon as it was over. The more that I watched this group, the more I really to be a part of it, a real part of it. I wanted to understand the jokes and have them laugh at mine. I wanted the other members to be as excited to see me as they were when they saw each other.

I can’t really say if it was about the need for affiliation or for intimacy, but I think it was the intimacy. I didn’t want to just be there surrounded by other people; I wanted to actually have relationships with them. Part of the reason that I’ve stayed with Redeemed is because I saw that I could belong to this group. The other reason is more about my ultimate goal for joining this group which was to give praise to God with a group of people who were there for the same purpose, and because of this reason I would not have left even if I had not formed my new relationships.

I can only think of two mildly embarrassing things that I experienced in the short time that I’ve been with Redeemed. First, in order to really be a part of the group, I had to sing alone in front of the group for “section placement” purposes although it also was like an audition. It wasn’t embarrassing so much as nerve-racking because I am well aware of my vocal ability, it’s extent and my limits. I knew what I could do, and I knew that I would be found a valuable part of the group, but still. I was singing for this united front that I wasn’t yet sure I would be welcomed into. Everyone was very nice, and I wasn’t going to be turned away, but that didn’t mean that I would actually be accepted. My other experience came when we performed at Amateur night. I was given a short, lead part that I wasn’t 100% comfortable with. I did it because I was asked to and I didn’t necessarily mind, but I felt like there were other people who could have done it better. That thought affected my view of the performance. I wasn’t totally confident that I had done well even though it was expressed to me that I had been fine. To this day, I just don’t like to talk about it because I am overly aware of all the things that I could have done better on.

However, at the end of the day, I wouldn’t give up my membership in Redeemed for those situations. I consider it growing pains haha, and totally worth it. I wouldn’t change any of it.