This is just little bits of random stuff (conflicts with my race, gender, and nationality; food, music, movies).. Enjoy 😀

 

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8/1/14 – I was surely done with posts but what I saw this morning on tumblr was very disturbing..my response mind you may be vulgar in terms of the cursing but I’m so frustrated and done with these kinds of people.

this is the post

She says on her page that she lived in the hood, was raped, and experienced being severely bullied.

This was my response to the whole post

“To the post below… I have to say…….Boo fucking who. White people don’t need to validate themselves because society does it everyday. People of color are invalidated in every moment, in every medium, in every form of media. Excuse the fuck out of us, if we wish to find a sense of community while this system wants to divide us. Some privileged white people ( not all white people) want so bad for people to feel pity for them. Do you come from slaves or indentured servants? Is your personality assumed everyday? When are you dehumanized past drinking Starbucks and not being able to cook? Did your family build this country with their blood and tears? Was it your mother who was raped by her slave master or immigration official? Do police systematically patrol your neighborhoods? Is it hard for you to get a loan because they doubt you can even pay it back? Are you denied customer service because they assume you can’t afford to buy anything? Is funding in your schools constantly being cut in your districts? Do they constantly put alcohol billboards to promote drunken bums in your side of town? Are unrealistic beauty standards placed on you to lighten or rather for you darken your skin? Are your and your women’s bodies festishsized? Is the God that you worship made to be a race historically impossible in order to push an agenda of oppression? When are you dehumanized? When are you an illegal immigrant? A criminal before committing a crime? A gang banger? A terrorist? An animal from birth? The worst you’ll ever have is trailer trash. But wait I forgot..Being called a cracker is offensive because it derives from the sound of the whip being broken on your backs in punishment for not accepting your name being taken from you…uh oh I’m sorry that was us. And the whip still hits us today. Especially when law enforcement and the legal system hurts us more than helps us. Stop wanting a pity party and for us to stop playing the race card..just so that you can forget the oppressive and deadly system set by your forefathers. Individual racism. Institutional racism. Environmental racism. Dealt out in domestic and foreign ways. Why can’t you just understand. It’s not the slavery that happened years ago. It is CURRENT day racism and prejudice. It is your past but our present. Have some fucking respect for the fact we want to unite against all odds and have love for who we are …even when we are battling how our slave masters and colonizers enforced and validated our self-hate and division.”

Whether she grew up in the hood or not , she still has the ability to be white. That means so much. Whether she went through things or not. The things she’s faced can be avoided in the next generation. How will I keep my children from experiencing racism and prejudice. It’s impossible. Unless I marry white and pray to God that my children are passing!  And even then genes are a bitch and my dirty blackness would still stain them!! She could never comprehend the struggle because no matter how hard she tries she can’t remove her whiteness which is her golden ticket. Black people…Hispanic people…Asian people….they don’t have pride that they’re not white. They have pride in who they are despite being told not to. White people having pride of “not being black” as she stated on her tumblr page does have racist tones.you want to be proud of being white then do it and not put down other races. I find pride in being West Indian not because I’m not American, but because American culture has been shoved down my throat while my own has been devalued and made inferior! Being proud of being black is not being proud of not being white. It’s understanding that we are told that we are the scourge of the earth daily and not believing who they say we are!

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7/28/14 – Je fini maintenant

I have enjoyed this assignment…ever so much!! I love working with different forms of media and even html. More importantly, this is the first time I’ve been able to completely voice my opinions and beliefs and struggles in a public sphere outside of my family. It’s been so different and actually kind of awesome to have people that you don’t quite know all that much see how your mind works. Or rather a small piece of your mind. I honestly got depressed learning about some of the topics in this class. Especially necropolitics with the holocaust..that triggered some deep sadness in me. However I’ve learned sooo much. I’ve gained so much from this class. It has even impacted some of my choices. I had already been moving from wanting the superficial things of this world, but taking this course has pushed this further. As I have said, concerning the dominion over animals topic, I don’t find anything wrong with eating meat or dairy products, but I have a problem with over-consumption. Taking this course has pushed me towards more of a life of necessity and not abundance. I have a want to live a life where I value the resources, food, materials, etc that I have , and use them with the thought of tomorrow. For example, if I’m eating, my meals shouldn’t be so large as if I’m a king. What about tomorrow? Why do we live lives where as if we’ll never have another meal, or never be able to use some of the things we use the next day? Why don’t we use our things sparingly and think of not just tomorrow but also next week and next year? This class has influenced me to live life sparingly..to think of the future. There’s nothing wrong is buying a dress because it’s summer and I think that it’s cute, but it’s not so necessary to shop til I drop. There is no necessity in me to buy a $200-300 shoe. Everything in moderation. I feel like my overall consumption has to reflect also that I’m mindful of other things. Other things like what I could be possibly be doing for my family..and my community..and others like me who face many of the same struggles. My life needs purpose. And that purpose isn’t to simply benefit myself. My purpose is to help others…to think of others. To think of things like.. why do we constantly oppress and cause suffering with animals and with ourselves? How can we stop this. I’m so grateful to God for this class and for all the sociology based classes I’ve had in the midst of being a Political Science major. I feel it has all pushed me closer to a person who isn’t so wrapped up in this capitalist system, which values consumption and being wealthy at the cost of many people’s oppression, pain, and suffering. I feel I have to live a life where I try to help those same people who are oppressed, in pain, and experiencing suffering. I don’t want to be so selfish and only think of myself. I want to make a change.

Thank you to everyone who has visited my page, listened to my music, and watched my videos. I have enjoyed this so much. Until next time.. Nos Vemos 🙂

Avicii – Wake Me Up

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7/23/14 – Fear of Men v. Fear of General Rape v. I Don’t Even Know What It Is…

I not so much afraid of all men, I’m more afraid of how the rape culture in this country normalizes rape as being the victim’s faults. And sometimes it even condemns the victim. Women aren’t always victims of rape, of course men can get rapped as well. But the difficulty in that is..when men get raped they argue away about how he must have liked it. All men love sex and think about it all the time so if a women supposedly “forced” themselves on him, he wanted it. Are you serious!?!? NO!! The difference between rape and sex is whether or not it is consensual. It’s just scary how people just kind of rationalize away this kind of act of violence.

“What was she wearing?” “Well..I mean why’d she go out at that time anyway?” “She’s a prostitute anyway..that’s her job how can she get raped?” “They’re married..how can your husband rape you?”

I mean…really?

Overall, I think I’m just afraid of having someone take away from me what belongs to me. I need a self-defense class or something.

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7/21/14 – The Bastardizing of Christianity.

I’ll be doing a video on this, but this is just a brief rant.

Christianity is a middle eastern religion very similar to Islam and Judaism. We branch from Abraham. Jesus was a middle eastern man dark enough to hide in Egypt. Women of the Christian faith at the time when the religion began to pick up , covered their heads just like Muslim and Jewish women. People going to temples for worship and church most likely did not wear shoes in the church.  It’s sickening to me and sad, because I have no idea of what the religion would have been had it not been used as a way to force an agenda. There’s a lot of wonderful things that have also come from Christianity..but I hate that Europeans who came to America and then traveled and colonized for using a savior to excuse their foolishness. And even today, they refuse to have a Santa Claus or Jesus as another race or ethnicity…it’s 2014. I don’t think it really matters what color Jesus was…but why do we need white Jesus shoved down our throats to make us accept our inferiority?

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7/12/14 – Tassa and Chutney

Tassa Band culture and Chutney are of East Indian roots. Tassa bands were brought from India, and chutney music was developed in Trinidad and Guyana, as East Indian indentured servants mixed their sounds from home with the new sounds of the West Indies. I’m not here to give lesson on this music ting. I just want an excuse to share stuff I like and love.

 

Babla & Kanchan – Hum Na Jaibe

Sonny Mann – Lotela

Terry Gajraj – Guyana Baboo

Uska Wine Gyal – I don’t know who sing it. But it bad fuh days.

Tassa Mix ( Excuse Me While Ah Wine)

Enjoyyyy

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7/4/14 – Independence Day…

I’m conflicted in celebrating this holiday because my family only came to this country in the 70s and 80s. However, for the black Americans and everyone else… I don’t think that they were talking about us when they said freedom….or liberty…or equality…or even justice for all… It’s just about Euro-Americans being free from other Europeans concerning land that isn’t theirs to begin with….

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7/3/14 – Espanol Cosas!

Hoy, voy a terminar Harry Potter. Acabo de comprar el 8-Pelicula Set. Ahora mismo mirando la octava pelicula. Estoy muy triste porque no hay mas peliculas mirar. 🙁

Anyway..

Aprendiendo espanol. Tomando clase de espanol 2 en el otono, pero no estoy listo… tengo que estudiar mas antes de tomo la clase. Solo quiero saber espanol ya. Quiero hablar con gente en espanol. Pero entonces..cuando quiero hablar con gente en espanol..tengo mucha mieda..por sus espanol es muy bien y mi espanol ?! Que mal! Uso el mismo palabras en espanol…el mismo verbes… Necesito aprender mas.

Estoy muy preocupada…Quiero recorder todas las cosas que aprendo…..What if I don’t

🙁

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7/2/14 – Bollywood Feevahhhh!

You guys haven’t lived unless you’ve seen RAM LEELA!!! I love this movie almost more than Kuck Kuch Hota Hai and that’s saying something, that’s a guyanese favorite. Watch it. You’ll love it. The music lures you in with such passion in every chord and every note.

Laal Ishq – Arjit Singh

From the bollywood motion picture, Goliyon Ki Raasleela Ram-Leela. 

 

Ang Laga De – Aditi Paul and Shail Hada

Also From Goliyon Ki Raasleela Ram-Leela.

 

[Translations:]

http://www.bollymeaning.com/2013/10/ang-rang-laga-de-re-lyrics-translation.html

http://www.bollymeaning.com/2013/10/ye-laal-ishq-mera-naam-ishq-lyrics_6573.html

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6/29/14 – Being Wanted By Men v. Protecting Yourself From Men

 

My Guyanese grandmother is adamant about me not wearing summer dresses above the knee. She comes from the 20s mind you. She feels that the men out there these days are animals, and she expresses a mentality of fear of men.

Howeverrr….

We are raised in a way that our life is to be catered to men. I grew up with the idea that men like women that aren’t fat, with long hair, smooth skin, pretty faces, and sometimes mixed. WestIndian women grow with the mentality of it being mandatory for us to know how to cook and  keep a house together. We essentially have no sexual desire, because to express any form of sexual desire is to have your virginity assumed. When we get married, we have sex with our husbands to fulfill their desires, and so they don’t wander. Our lives are based off of men. That’s how we’re raised. There’s a conflict of ideas.

So you must live to please men…but then… always be cautious and protect yourself because they’re also inherently bad minded..

But I don’t feel that way at all! I have no desire to dress like a whore on the streets, but lawd av mercy it hot like hell!!!! It’s too hot to wear fabric on my legs! No jeans. If this is what it takes to be comfortable in my skin, then its fine. I AM NOT HERE FOR EVERY MAN GOD CREATED. When I have a boyfriend of course I want to look cute for him, but I should never deny my own desires or needs to please a man. We are equals. I don’t mind cooking and cleaning…but my life’s purpose is not for what a man likes. If I’m wearing a summer dress a bit above my knee and man rapes me. ITS NOT MY FAULT AJEE! What the hell do 6 year olds wear to ask for perverted men to take away their childhoods?!?!

Look this ting going an goh get meh mad! Leh meh stop yea.

This shows the power that men have. Women have a perception of how men think, feel, and behave, and then impose those ideas on their children. Girls grow up with ideas of men, where their actions are centered around men. The men have imposed responsibilities but they are different from that of a woman. Our responsibilities put us in a place of inferiority. We must cook and clean. Men must provide for the house, give women sperm to reproduce. Men’s responsibilties and their masculinity is essentially at a place of power. Where we’re underneath. Steupss*