This photo was taken from a post called “Pictures which barely need captions” posted on 2/27/11 from Pam’s Field Notes (2011-2013). The blog’s website is [http://pamspen.wordpress.com/category/port-au-prince-haiti-2011-12/]
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Being Haitian And What That Might Mean..
Vlog #1 – 7/27/14
I’ve very much so struggled with the idea of what exactly it means to be Haitian to society and if that correlates with what I believe it to mean. I have struggled for 3 different reasons.
(1) I’ve struggled with trying to attain the Indianess of my grandmother, and so accepting being Haitian and being proud of it, would mean accepting my full blackness. At the time, I was much younger and it was much more difficult to do that.
(2) Society paints all Haitians as being involved in VooDoo, which is a culture and religion that I have nothing to do with. So in order to prevent people from thinking that I was involved in it, I kind of avoided even saying that I was Haitian. I had emphasized my Guyanese-ness (lol I’m making up words now.)
(3) I don’t fluently speak french or creole. It’s like being Hispanic and not speaking Spanish. I felt this left me incapable of even claiming the title of being Haitian. How could I? My grandmother raised my mother along with my aunts to be more Americanized, and so the result of that is my mom understanding french and creole, but not being able to fully translate. Even more because my grandmother killed our Haitian culture, I rendered completely unable to learn who I am on that side. I am an overall West Indian. Of course I can learn on the internet of Haitian culture, but growing up I have treasured nothing more that learning from those older than me all of what I come from.
As I have probably already conveyed there is almost nothing more important than culture and family to me. It means everything for me to be able to pass my culture and my history down to my children. When you forget your culture you forget who you are and you begin to be who they want you to assimilate to be. This is the reason so many black Americans are lost today. You hear many youths making jokes of “lightskin niggas are like this..and dark skin niggas are like that…” Many have lost who they are and are only left holding on to slave mentalities. Black people in America don’t come from slavery. They come from royalty. If black people could only know how wonderful they are, and more importantly how strong they are together, it would make such a huge difference. And of course a lot of black Americans already do know this, but I think I’m speaking more towards the youth. Your culture is your strength. It is not just the foods you eat or the music that you listen to. It is also the wisdom of those before you that laid a path for your ensured success. I wish that I could learn more from my grandmother and that I could have learned from my grandfather before he passed (both on the Haitian side). I wish that I have found more a pride in being half Haitian earlier. I wish I didn’t allow society to shape what I do and don’t take pride in. That was yesterday.
But today!?! I AM A PROUD WEST INDIAN BORN IN NEW YORK AND RAISED ON THE DHAL AND ROTI. BROUGHT UP WITH THE BLACK RICE AND PWA SAUCE. FINDING JOY IN THE DOLLA WINE AND THE MERENGUE. FIGHTING TO GET HERE AND MAKING IT!! I don’t why I felt the need to capitalize that, but I’m so proud of who I am and who my family is. Most importantly..I proud of all they have sacrificed in order to give me a heritage and a culture. I love my family and how they’ve helped in shaping me into the person I am today…
Ecoute!
Kassav – Zouk La Se Sel