From 2020 up until now, everything has unfolded into a weird enigma. Vaccine developments and studies with Pzier, Johnson and Johnson, and  Maderna. It was like watching 3 toddlers fight over a trophy for recognition versus actually trying to make a difference …which is both humiliating and hilarious. One of my biggest accomplishments was to participate in the BLM movement during the pandemic

. It was exhilarating, inspiring and something I will never forget. I can still hear every chanting together, walking side by side with a poster in hand in unison. People were willing to raise their voices for the black community and I am honored to be one of the many that day.  

. It was exhilarating, inspiring and something I will never forget. I can still hear every chanting together, walking side by side with a poster in hand in unison. People were willing to raise their voices for the black community and I am honored to be one of the many that day.  

One of the major conflicts that developed in my life was catching covid in 2021. It was very scary. When I first caught Covid it really put me in shock, I was scared and afraid, and with me having a history of asthma. I definitely wasn’t sure how my body would manage the virus. My whole body felt drained, hallowed, painful, and sensitive to almost everything. There were even moments that weren’t able to open my eyes without my migraines getting worse. 

It’s defiantly not a fun experience, but what was fun was testing out my lack of taste from Covid. I tried eating several things such as ranch, ice cream, onions, garlic, and even wasabi. When I tried eating garlic I could feel the spice-like feeling override my senses and the same could be applied with other spiced foods. When I ate bitter foods, it felt an odd tingly base sensation around the base of my tongue.

 I defiantly enjoyed having my mini science experiment!  In a way, that little experiment started a new wave for me.

 

I wanted to expand my life experiences and try things that I probably wouldn’t. For instance this month I got my septum pierced when I was always too afraid to get it. 

I started going out to new places, trying new foods,  became open to expressing myself more, and overall just trying to live my life to my standards. I think I learned to just live myself through that one moment. I didn’t think I was going to pull through, but I did. And I will always be grateful for that. The greatest lesson that I learned from all this was to live and just enjoy everything. You never know when the worst will happen or when things will change. Of course, the second lesson would be to always be careful with your health and take precautions with everything around you.  And that I can live with. 

My last memory before the pandemic outbreak was being in my physics class ready to go home. Other students in the class were joking about the decease because it has yet speeded throughout the world, I just laughed along because I personally wasn’t worried about it or think would spread throughout the world in such little days. My teacher announced to the class that we won’t be coming to school on the first day on next week. I didn’t think much of it and just thought we had an extra day added to our weekend, little did I know it would be the last day physically being in school. I did not pay attention to any news or story about the decease already spreading to the United States either.

Thinking that I would be returning to school soon I was stressed because I had not completed any of the assignments, I then started asking around for help. My problem was soon resolved when the school and county announced that classes would be moved to online until further notice for us safety and the others. With the pandemic getting worser each day, we were required to be quarantined and not go out unless necessary. Not being able to go out, my video game and my phone was the only thing that kept me entertain. One of the thing I did a lot during quarantine was play a new game called Warzone. Still not really worried about the pandemic, me and my friends would still hang out not having a clue that the pandemic just gets worse each day passes.

After the first few months of isolation in COVID, new mandates requiring masks whenever we’re out in public gave us a small glimpse of our old life. By the end of 2020, my family had integrated a new schedule in our life of the pandemic; mornings are the same, but we now wear a mask before preparing to go out, never taking it off for a moment. Anytime we touch a door, a wall, or any object in public, we’d have a small bottle of hand sanitizer to use to clean our hands immediately. Doing this so often, eventually the strong and somewhat burning scent of hand sanitizer on my hands was comforting in a way, especially when out in public. Whenever we got home, we’d always take a shower right away as one more safety precaution against COVID. Anytime we bought anything as simple as groceries, the packaging that they were in would be washed with soap or water wiped down with wet wipes. For my family, we’d integrated these new steps for doing the most mundane things into our life and we’d continue doing them for the entire pandemic.
While my family got used to our new life with COVID, the virus had a trick up its sleeve. I remember playing a viral game back in 2012 named Plague Inc. in which you play as a disease attempting to wipe out humanity. There were different types of diseases you could play as such as bacteria, parasites, or of course the virus. The most notable thing that made viruses stand out in the game was their ability to randomly mutate more often than the other diseases. Just like the game, the COVID virus mutated in late 2020, with the new variant being named Delta. New fear emerged as the Delta variant was rumored to be more fatal and dangerous than the first variant, now being named Alpha, but the Delta was supposedly less contagious than Alpha. Regardless, paranoia quickly ran through me because just like that game, I knew it was just going to mutate once and be done. Even though my family was more less the same before the Delta variant came, I still ran extreme dread.
By now the first vaccines for COVID came out but due to work my family, mainly my mom and I, weren’t able to get the vaccines yet. However, my dad was able to get all 3 shots by mid 2021. By November of 2021, both my mom and I took the vaccines to better increase our chances to survive should COVID infect us. However, things got worse by December of 2021 when COVID mutated once again, with the new Omicron variant. Though rumored to be less dangerous than Delta, it was more contagious and still was lethal to the older and more ill of our population. Eventually my fears would be justified when my dad caught COVID. Panic and paranoia ran through me for days hoping my dad would be fine, and luckily he was able to leave the hospital without having to visit the ICU. Since my dad lived elsewhere, my mom and I didn’t get COVID. Now here we are today, where COVID cases in the U.S. have no dropped very much since its introduction, and the pandemic raging on.

The sun was shining as bright as it had been for years, trees and flowers were beginning their pollination season again, and the birds and bugs that roamed near my home continued to scurry and fly as if nothing had changed. However, a lot changed for our society; COVID had found its way onto the U.S. and spread rapidly like a wildfire in dry grass. In wake of the virus, schools closed immediately and all students and teachers had to move to digital work. Unfortunately for my school, this sudden change in our environment was tough for a lot of students because we were used to being face to face, not face to screen. The days of sitting on a desk, writing down notes in front of a teacher had ended for that semester of school. In its place, we learned behind a screen as teachers worked quickly to convert all their planned lesson into digital lessons. In the case some students had no internet access, there were places students could go where free computer and internet access was allowed, but I never had to use them.
Going outside just to get groceries was like Russian roulette during these times because you were potentially gambling for your life with the virus being anywhere, but you aren’t able to see this invisible killer until it already has its hold on you. I didn’t understand a lot of the virus during its early stage but I understood one thing: it wasn’t something to play with. I was still young and the virus was only dangerous to the older population was, but that’s what I worried most about. Much of my family is fairly old with my grandfather being diabetic, which is what scared me most about the virus. If I caught it, I could potentially spread it to other family members. Luckily, the government began mandating masks and preventing parties that consisted of too many people. Some people may have hated this sudden change in environment, but to others like me, it meant the government realized that the virus needs to controlled before it claimed the lives of millions. The pandemic had started, and now the world was racing to combat it.

My covid experience in March was a mixture of anxiety, disappointment, and placement of new directions.

When states started to shut down on March 15, things did shift in an interesting way. Minus the mask mandate and social uprising with personal opinions and false narratives. I noticed changes in myself. I started to become more and more reserved with everyone and everything due to Covid.  I remember watching the news almost daily in fear of the worst. The numbers fluctuate and grow like a massive pulse. It was terrifying. I felt like I was losing part of my sanity. 

I watched with disgust as people started to turn on one another AND GREATLY EMBARRASS themselves to degrees I did not think was possible. Between people hogging toilet paper and hand sanitizer, people screaming at each other over social distancing, and people once again claiming that the virus was fake news. I seriously thought I was on a global reality show. People completely lost their minds. I think a part of the little hope I had for humanity died a little during this time.

I still had hope that things would get turned around and things would go back to normal. Of course, that little dream did not work out. So, why not try to enjoy the little situation I was involuntarily placed in? With time I started to reflect on myself and my direction in life. I started to enjoy myself more at home, went out occasionally for self date nights or for personal outings. I remember a specific moment in May when I had a self-care day after a difficult week and went to Jeju Spa in Atlanta. It was my first time going there and I was really blown away by how great it was.  Each individual room had a different purpose and set characteristics such as the charcoal room for “detox” purposes, and another room had gold-like plating around the small hut-like room.  It was nice.

I first started realizing things were bad when we didn’t have school. School being canceled was a shocking (also happy) thing to happen. This was March 13, 2020. Everything past this point was different. It wasn’t good or bad, just different. Just to go to the grocery store, everyone had to wear a medical face mask. Not even just the grocery store. Going outside in public places with more than a few people, going to restaurants, or entertainment places. All of these required a mask to be worn. At first, it was very suffocating but after 2 years of wearing them, you barely notice. During the peak of the pandemic, March and April of 2020, places were starting to close down. Some of my favorite resturants and areas to hang out, like parks, just weren’t open anymore. At some point, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention(CDC) advised not to go out in groups of people. This is when quarantine happened. People couldn’t leave their house unless going to the grocery store or getting basic needs. I felt so isolated during this time. Of course, I have my mom and aunt who I lived with but I couldn’t see my friends. Socializing is a big thing I need and without seeing people I didn’t know what to do. I had recently quit gymnastics when quarantine happened, but I was regretting it deeply. My sleep schedule in the spring and summer started to get very unhealthy. I would watch tv shows all night, as last at 5 am and then wake up well into the afternoon the next day, 2 pm.

Many things during this time were depressing, but I picked up new interest since I had so much free time. I started to watch a lot of television. I just got into anime and was watching about 1 show a day. There are so many genres that I just couldn’t get bored. I would listen to music every second of every day; Hip Hop, Pop, R&B, and KPOP. I discovered Kpop during this time as well. This genre was just so fun because of the many sounds used and different languages. When watching the music videos, pops of vibrant colors were everywhere as well as amazing dance moves. I also know that some of my friends, that I texted, never went outside or got any fresh air. Unlike them, I still had a dog that I had to walk at least three times a day. Going outside during the summer was a good getaway from the boring indoors. The yellow sun burned down on my skin and felt as if it was close to the Earth. For some reason, last summer felt like the hottest summer I’ve ever experienced.

2021 was both better and worse than 2020. I was starting to feel fed up with all of the abnormalities to my life that Covid brought, and the anger that everyone had towards everyone. However, life was creeping back towards normal, and in the spring of 2021 I made an exciting discovery that made everything feel better – there were so many ways to braid! I think braiding may have changed the way I face the world more than anything else that happened during the pandemic. It gave me something to care about and get excited about and it gave me something to be confident in. It was a creative outlet in something I was both good at and loved doing.

In the fall I started dual enrolling during Covid rules. It hasn’t been easy – it’s hard to understand people wearing masks, and I hate not knowing what anybody’s face really looks like. That being said, it has been an overall fun experience, getting a glimpse of what college is like and discovering for myself that homeschooling really hasn’t put me at any disadvantage.

Maybe, when I look back at the hardships and the good things of this time, I will be able to have a better understanding of the world and how people are. And if I wish things had been different, Terry Pratchett can keep me looking at the future:

“You can’t say ‘if this didn’t happen then that would have happened’ because you don’t know everything that might have happened. You might think something’d be good, but for all you know it could have turned out horrible. You can’t say ‘If only I’d…’ because you could be wishing for anything. The point is, you’ll never know. You’ve gone past. So there’s no use thinking about it.” ― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

During quarantine, I struggled with everything imaginable within my two-hundred-square-foot room. I had to deal with events from my family members dying, my work ethic declining, to spending my time learning how to make whipped coffee.  This may sound like a common thing occurring in people’s lives today (and probably still when you are reading this), going from being a “work hard, play hard” type student, I fell into a spiral that occurred of waking up late and procrastinating my assignments. The hard part was not living through quarantine but the after-effects of it.  In my senior year (current), life has felt as if I was a freshman all over again learning how to handle a bunch of classes with the benefit of college preparation and standardized testing.  

My first semester of the senior year consisted of trying to pay attention in my classes but resulted in panic attacks from not understanding the material. Volleyball used to be my happy place until this year.  It was added work that I didn’t enjoy as much as I used to.   The spiral continued, but as it went down farther I couldn’t find a reason to come back up. 

Being stuck at home became normal and no matter how much I hated it I had to get used to it.  I had to get used to “not-s0-good” habits; laying in bed for my virtual class on my Apple Mac 2020 computer, copying homework answers from my $20 a month Chegg membership, and not showering for consecutive days in a row.  Then we have the habits that at the end of the day have negatively impacted me to this day; after class, during quarantine, I could go straight to my club meetings online then five minutes later, I could be doing my homework or watching Netflix.  In reality (aka non-quarantine time), my routine consisted of the same but time was taken when driving to places and back, and talking to those people you run into even though you have your AirPods in (during this time having headphones in is a wordless way of saying “don’t bother me,” which takes more time and energy than virtually.  

  After the quarantine lockdown I went back to work and started to save up to move downtown for a while just to get a new feel out of life. The city was a more vibrant and fast pace environment as compared to being in Decatur although Decatur was not at all far from the city. I had been going to the city to network and hang out for about two years before I decided to move there so by the time I did move out there I already knew exactly what I wanted to do differently. I got acquainted with a distant friend I had met in the city, Ron, who was an event curator and was interested in making a comeback after covid had shut almost all events and parties down. I asked if I could DJ at his event and he did. I didn’t know it then but this would be the start of my career as a DJ in a way. 

  Ron was having his annual Halloween party which I had been two the previous year so I knew there would be a bunch of people there. It wasn’t the first time I had DJed at a party but it was the first time I would be DJing for Ron and I wanted to make a good first impression and I did. My set was so good they asked me to do two sets at that one party. For the next couple of months Ron put me on every single party he curated. This helped me expand my connections and soon I would be DJing for other people as well. This was a big turn around for me because it felt like it all happened out of nowhere. I had been DJing since the end of 2018 but it felt like it was so hard to get people to take me serious as a DJ until the pandemic. The pandemic went from the worst possible thing that could’ve happened to 2020 to being the best possible thing that could’ve happened to me. I was happy because it felt like I took advantage of opportunities that actually helped move me as an artist.

  Unfortunately, through out all of the change I was experiencing, my best friend Lawrence had also been going through changes but of different sorts. I could go into how close I was with Lawrence but that would be an extremely long story in itself. To say the least he was the only person I called my best friend since I was in the 3rd grade. On February 14th of 2021 my best friend past away. This was to date the hardest thing I had ever been faced with in my life. I hated the world and I started to involve myself with certain things that were not in anyway good for my health. I was still DJing parties which was making things a lot harder for me to cope with loosing my best friend. I started looking a lot of things differently, especially my future. Not long after that I lost the life of another close friend I had named Chrys, who was like an older brother figure to both me and Lawrence. I felt like I was dying in a way trying to cope with these deaths until I moved from the city back to Decatur and started to get booked for out of state shows. From April of 2021 to November of 2021 I had been DJing, making music, and traveling all while trying to figure out where I really stood in the world. My mom, being one of the only support systems I had left, encouraged me to go back to school which is how I winded up here.  

After hearing the worst news possible towards the end of February 2021 that covid would soon force the U.S. the go into lockdown, everyone started to prepare for the worst by the month of March. At the time I was working at the Guess store inside of Lenox Mall. It wasn’t the best job but given my interests in fashion, I was just happy to be there. I will admit it wasn’t the most interesting job. I was working anywhere from 25 to 30 hours a week, but it definitely kept me busy and out of trouble, plus I had recently gotten a raise at the start of the new year. Although I did enjoy my job, I was not at all worried of being laid off as a result of covid. In fact I was kind of excited because I thought it would just bring me closer to my friends since I would have more time to hang out instead of having to work all the time. 

By the middle of March me and almost everyone I knew had been laid off from their job temporarily due to covid. People say the idle mind is a dangerous place to be left in, for me this was starting to be very apparent. I thought I was going to be spending most of my time with my friends but covid turned out to be a lot more serious than I anticipated and most of our parents wanted us to stay in doors. So I decided to start watching new anime series such as One Piece, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, and Prison School, as well as playing a new zombie game I had gotten called Days Gone. I tried to stay in doors for the first week of quarantine but playing zombie games and watching anime for hours on end just did not satisfy me enough to keep me inside. I then decided I would start going to the park to skate every morning, and I did. It felt good to get out the house and catch some fresh air. Soon my best friend, Lawrence, would start coming with me to skate at the park and in a way it was us rebelling against the restraints of covid. That felt good to us, so then we started to break even more quarantine rules. We were going out to eat, skating in the city, hanging out at each others house, and overall just enjoying the absence of the general population. It wasn’t long until we were all called out of lockdown. By April I had started back working at Guess like nothing had ever happened.