When I asked Farrah Rudder what she likes most about being a college student, she replied, “I live the same thing every day except when I’m in school. I get to be somebody different.” Her academic career is one of self-discovery and determination. In fact, “perseverance” is the word Farrah uses to describe her academic self, and after hearing her story, it’s easy to see why.
A first-generation college student and the middle child of five siblings, Farrah was born in Chicago, Illinois and moved to Georgia at the age of seven. Because her family moved around so much when she was young, Farrah was forced to change schools frequently, making it impossible for her to find any consistency in her schoolwork or friendships. However, in the summer before 9th grade, Farrah and her family moved back to Chicago, and it was there that she began to blossom as a student. Farrah made school her number one priority, became the top ranked student in her class, and eventually earned a much-coveted Posse Scholarship (a full- tuition scholarship to attend college), beating out hundreds of student applicants from all over the state of Illinois. Unfortunately, her mom decided that the family would move back to Georgia for her senior year, forcing Farrah to change schools (again) and forfeit her scholarship. Disappointed and resentful, Farrah found it difficult to muster the same effort and ardor that she previously had towards school, and after graduation, she did what everyone else in her family had done before her: forwent college and got a job.
After three years of working non-stop, Farrah felt “stuck” and saw herself going in a direction that was all too familiar. Farrah explained, “I learned from family members what not to do. They were doing nothing with their lives.” Wanting something more for herself, Farrah made the leap of quitting her job, and began, as she puts it, taking the “value out of money.” She applied for and received financial aid, and by the fall of 2019, was enrolled as a full-time student at Georgia State University. After completing her first full semester, Farrah’s self-confidence and enthusiasm were through the roof. Then, out of nowhere, Covid hit. Suddenly, the thing she had worked so hard to attain was in danger of being ripped away. Farrah recalled, “I was devastated. It felt like I’d had the rug pulled out from under me.” Forced to take classes online, Farrah found it difficult to keep up and
Farrah Rudder-Photographer and Date unknown
remain engaged, but to her credit, she endured. Not surprisingly, the class reading that most resonates with Farrah is, “Redesigning College Education: Dismantling Trauma During Covid” by Roshelle Czar. In her article, Czar states, “trauma is centered on an individual experience and can manifest in various ways” ( Czar 2021). For Farrah, the threat of losing her new-found purpose and improved self-worth was indeed traumatic.
In speaking with Farrah about her college experience, one thing is clear: though getting to this point has not been easy, staying has often been just as hard. At times, the work can be overwhelming, and without much support from family members who have different lifestyles and no college experience, Farrah often feels alone and unappreciated. “They don’t respect how much work goes into being a full-time student,” Farrah said, and for this reason, she hopes to one day live on GSU’s downtown campus to surround herself with the support of other like-minded students. And remarkably, even without much outside support, Farrah is not merely surviving college; she is thriving. As a business major, Farrah earned a 3.5 GPA last semester, and is scheduled to graduate in the spring. She also expresses an interest in one day studying law, and due to her environmental science class (her favorite this semester), she has developed a desire to someday become an environmentalist.
To hear Farrah talk about her college experience is inspiring; her enthusiasm is infectious. It is obvious that attending college is much more to her than just a means to an end. She likes being out of the house, she likes being around people every day, and more than anything else, she likes the person she is becoming. And though Farrah admits that she is far from a perfect student (“procrastination” was her other academic self word), she’s aware of how far she has come, and I get the sense that she is just getting started. When I asked Farrah what she is most proud of with her academic self, she humbly replied, “I’m just proud to be here.” She should be.
Citations:
- Rudder, Farrah, Academic Self Interview. By Keith Slettedahl Jan 26, 2022.
- Czar, Roshelle, Redesigning College Education: Dismantling College during Covid, 2021 https://hope4college.medium.com/redesigning-college-education-dismantling-trauma-during-covid-97ad3319edbd